Sheldon: I mean, it's not that I think we're living in sin, but I do like the idea that our next act of intimacy will be a legal requirement.

Bernadette: One of the great things about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglass and watching people freak out.

Barry Kripke: At wast, my wove has come awong, my wonewy days are over, and wife is wike a song, oh, yeah.

Sheldon: Oh, Stuart, good. I was wondering, will you be accepting Bitcoin?
Stuart: Well, I don't know what that is, but it's got "coin" in it, and my cash register doesn't, so yeah.

Howard: Look, I I can see you're upset, but I'm gonna need some ground rules. I mean, while we're apart, can I see other needy Indian men?

Leonard: Do you guys have a location yet? 'Cause you don't have a lot of time.
Amy: Hey, it took us nine months to pick a date, and a week to decide if brains can have lips on them, so get in the boat and row.

Sheldon: Are you having an allergic reaction to my boutonniere?
Leonard: No. I'm just so happy for you. And for me. After today, you are officially - and, more important, legally - Amy's problem.
Sheldon: Don't be silly, Leonard. I will always be your problem.

Sheldon: You know what they say, fool me "N" times, where "N" equals the amount of times you've already fooled me, shame on you. Fool me "N" plus one times, shame on me.

Sheldon: Until next week, this is Professor Proton saying, 01000010 01111001 01100101. That's "Bye" in ASCII binary, or good-binary.

Penny: Is it possible that you're stressed because you're scared about getting married? I mean, it is a big change, and you're not good with little changes.
Sheldon: Well, that's nonsense. You name one little change I was upset with.
Penny: Uh, when they changed the green Skittle from lime to apple.
Sheldon: That is not the rainbow I grew up tasting.

Bernadette: What about this?
Raj: Uh, okay. Uh, pull off the skirt, slap a lightning bolt on the front, and you got baby Flash. Ooh, stick a long sleeve under it. Boom, Baby Sheldon!

Mary Cooper: Oh, Shelly. I have bad news. Mr. Watkins passed this morning.
Sheldon: Oh. Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.
Mary Cooper: I know. What are the odds of that?
Sheldon: Call you back.

Penny: What did you need the kit for?
Amy: Oh, um Sh-Sheldon was squatting down to pick up a fork and he ripped his pants.
Penny: Oh, someone's gonna be sore tomorrow.

Mark Hamill: Welcome. We are gathered here today in the sight of family, friends and Almighty God.
Sheldon: That's too religious.
Mark Hamill: That lady over there made me say it.
Mary: He heard you, and he can't un-hear you.

Penny: No, I've been reading Bernadette's parenting book. It's like the answer key to the Sheldon test.