Amy: So are you feeling okay? No wedding jitters?
Sheldon: No. There is nothing in the world that would stop me from marrying you tomorrow, even me from the future coming back to prevent the wedding and the subsequent birth of a child who will destroy humanity.
Amy: Because if you came from the future, that would mean you already went through with the wedding because you believe that time travel is on a closed loop.
Sheldon: I love you so damn much.

Sheldon: They're very different. Physics answers the question: what is the nature of the universe? Geology answers the question: you know, what'd I just trip over?

Leonard: Oh, hi, you wanted to see me?
Ms. Davis: Yes. I wanted to talk to you about the e-mail you sent me last night.
Leonard: I sent you an e-mail?
Ms. Davis: You bet you did. "Hello. Shalom and aloha from the grave of Richard Feynman."
Leonard: (groans) Oh, it's coming back to me.
Ms. Davis: "Please accept the following retraction: I know I said physics is dead, but it is the opposite of dead. If anything, it is undead, like a zombie. Speaking of which, if Richard Feynman came back as a zombie, I would totally let him bite me."
Leonard: Any chance that's the end?
Ms. Davis: "I got bit by a squirrel once. I had to get rabies shots. I cried so much, my mother said 'don't be a baby'. In conclusion, physics is great. Squirrels suck, and someday, I'm gonna put my mom in a cheap nursing home. Yours truly, XOXO, Dr. Leonard Hofstadter."
Leonard: I-I-I can explain.
Ms. Davis: "P.S Can you come pick us up? The Uber driver won't open the door because Sheldon is covered in blue vomit."

Sheldon: I've been modeling different types of dark matter and the traces they would leave on the zircon inside your meteorite.
Bert: What's this one here?
Sheldon: That's actually a dark matter model of my own creation. I call it the Cooper Boson.
Bert: Cool. I got to name a rock once. I named it Moderately Sedimented Shale. Guess I kind of pooped the bed on that one.

Bernadette: One of the great things about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglass and watching people freak out.

Sheldon: No, the campus isn't safe at night. There's raccoons and undergrads just walking around like they own the place.

Penny: Look, I know this is your wedding, and you can do whatever you want, but if you think anyone but me is gonna be your maid of honor, then you're an idiot because you are my best friend.
Howard: Too late, Bernade-
Amy: (pushes Howard out of the way, rushes to hug Penny) Bestie!

Howard: Bernie, this is our kid's name. I think we should both agree.
Bernadette: You're right. We both made this baby.
Howard: Thank you.
Bernadette: And I carried it, had to stay in bed for four months, sacrificed my body and my job, and soon it's gonna burst its way out of me like the Kool-Aid Man.
Howard: Exactly. Fifty-fifty.

Sheldon: Did Bernadette even try to send us a sewing kit?
Amy: She did. Amazon, standard shipping, not even Prime.
Sheldon: (gasps) We could've done that ourselves.
Amy: (chuckles) That's what she said.

Amy: Sheldon, when I was a little girl, I used to dream about my wedding. But, eventually, I stopped, because I thought that day would never come. And then I met you. From the first moment in that coffee shop, I knew that there was something special between us, even though I did work on a study that disproved love at first sight.
Sheldon: I loved that study the moment I read it. Ironic, huh?
Amy: Clearly, it was wrong. Because I felt something that day, and those feelings have only gotten stronger with time. I can't imagine loving you more than I do right now.
But I felt that way yesterday and the day before yesterday and the day before that.
Sheldon: Is that growth linear or accelerating?
Amy: Accelerating.
Sheldon: Oh, maybe we could graph it out.
Leonard: Save something for the honeymoon.
Sheldon: Smart.
Amy: Sheldon, I don't know what the future holds, but I know that I've never been happier than I am in this moment marrying you.

Sheldon: Can I get you anything else?
Amy: No, thanks. I think I'm good.
Sheldon: You sure? There's still plenty of pork fat. Although, if we don't eat it, I suppose we could turn it into soap.
Amy: That might taste better.

Bernadette: At the office, I have two assistants! I don't even know their names. I just call them Thing 1 and Thing 2.
Amy: I don't have assistants.
Bernadette: I guess that's one of the benefits of being in the private sector. That and all the money I make!

Amy: So, you're just gonna sit here by yourself and do nothing?
Sheldon: Of course not. I'm going to write mean comments about Wil's show online.
Amy: Well, you can't criticize something you haven't seen.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, are you familiar with the Internet?

Sheldon: I've thought about it, and I really want to spend the rest of my life with Amy. Do I have your blessing?
Stephen Hawking: Well, Sheldon, I think you should make her finger like Saturn and put a ring on it.

Sheldon: Oh, Stuart, good. I was wondering, will you be accepting Bitcoin?
Stuart: Well, I don't know what that is, but it's got "coin" in it, and my cash register doesn't, so yeah.