Sheldon: How am I gonna get to work.
Leonard: Take the bus.
Sheldon: But I can't take the bus. They don't have seat belts. And they won't let you latch yourself to the seat with bungee chords.
Leonard: You tried to latch yourself to the seat with bungee chords?
Sheldon: I didn't try, I succeeded. For some reason, it alarmed the other passengers and I was asked to de-bus.

Sheldon: You have to drive me to work.
Penny: Yeah, I really don't think I do.
Sheldon: But I don't drive and I can't take the bus.
Penny: Alright, honey, you'll be fine as long as you don't do that bungee chord thing.

Sheldon: Your check-engine light is on.
Penny: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Typically, that's an indicator to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: It's fine. It's been on for like a month.
Sheldon: Well, actually that would be all the more reason to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: Sheldon, it's fine.
Sheldon: If it were fine, the light wouldn't be on. That's why the manufacturer installed that light, to let you know it's not fine.
Penny: Maybe the light's broken.
Sheldon: Is there a check-the-check-engine-light light?

Sheldon: Oh God, not Euclid Avenue!

Sheldon: Maybe if I turn off the nightlight, I can keep the sheets.

Sheldon: I still don't see why I need a driver's license. Albert Einstein never had a driver's license.
Howard: Yeah, but Albert Einstein didn't make me wet myself at 40 miles an hour.
Penny: Yeah, and I never wanted to kick Albert Einstein in the nuts.

Sheldon: Excuse me, but I have some concerns about these questions.
DMV Worker: Look at that sign up there.
Sheldon: Yes?
DMV Worker: Does it say I give a damn?
Sheldon: No.
DMV Worker: That's because I don't.

DMV Worker: Here's your learner's permit. Go away.
Sheldon: But I'm not done. I have many additional concerns about these questions.
DMV Worker: Don't make me climb over this counter!

Sheldon: (To the cleaning ladies) You saw nothing!

Sheldon: Who is going to drive me to work?
Leonard: You're a big boy you'll figure something out.
Sheldon: Don't talk to me like I'm a child. Now take me to return my Star Wars sheets.

Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Penny! (x3)
Penny: Sheldon, what is it?
Sheldon: Leonard's asleep.
Penny: Thanks for the update.

Penny: Honey, you'll be fine as long as you don't do that bungee cord thing, okay?
Sheldon: Penny, didn't you recently state that you and I are friends?
Penny: Yes, Sheldon, we are friends.
Sheldon: Then I hereby invoke what I'm given to understand is an integral part of the implied covenant of friendship. The favor.
Penny: Oh, dear God.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was interrupting your morning prayers. When you're done, we'll go.

Sheldon: Thank you for driving me to work.
Penny: You know this is my day off, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Oh, good. I'm not keeping you from anything.

Sheldon: You're going up Euclid Avenue?
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Sheldon: Leonard takes Los Robles Avenue.
Penny: Well, good for Leonard.
Sheldon: Euclid Avenue is shorter as the crow flies, but it has speed bumps, which appreciably increase point-to-point drive time, making it the less efficient choice. But you have the conn. Of course, if you're not going to slow down for the speed bumps, I withdraw my previous objection.

Sheldon: Here’s a fun question. Do you know what the most common street name is?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: The answer's tricky. It's Second Street. You see, you'd think it would be First Street, but in most towns, First Street eventually gets renamed to something else, you know, like Main Street, Broad Street, Michigan Avenue.