Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Raj: I don't call anyone a whore, and the only time I use the phrase "my bitch", I'm referring to you (Howard).

Raj: Leonard, give me a beat.
Leonard: I will not.

Penny: Awkward silence, Sheldon on his phone, no touching; somebody's having date night.

Amy: It's actually steamier than it looks. Sheldon's looking up the phallic symbolism of root vegetables in renaissance paintings.
Sheldon: Oh no, I got bored of that. I'm just browsing cuticle scissors on Amazon.

Penny: How do you not tear off his clothes and take him right here on this table?
Sheldon: If you do that I'll scream.

Amy: I have some exciting news to tell you.
Sheldon: That makes two of us. My new cuticle scissors will be here in one to two business days. ... Come on, one.

Sheldon: You know, riding with Leonard has got a little tedious lately. The only car game he ever wants to play is the quiet game. And he's terrible at it, I always win.

Raj: What started as a pap smear turned into a date, which turned into her working there, which turned into marriage, which then turned into hatred which continues to this day.

Sheldon: I appreciate your concern but I won't be seeing any more of Amy than I already do. I assume we'll deduct any extra time I see her at work from our weekly quota.'
Leonard: Please let me be there when you tell her that.
Sheldon: Why? So you can see the look on her face when she hears my top notch idea?
Leonard: Please, oh please, just let me be there.

Amy: I'm leading a study to see if deficiency of the monoamine oxidase enzyme leads to paralysing fear in monkies.
Bernadette: If they're anything like humans, the answer is yes.
Amy: You've done this experiment on humans?
Bernadette: You mean like death row inmates with nothing to lose? No, that would be unethical.

Penny: You know, not a lot of people know this. But the monoamine oxidase enzyme was discovered by a woman, Mary Bernheim.
*Amy and Bernadette look puzzled by Penny's knowledge*
Penny: That's right, my phone is just as smart as you guys!

Sheldon: *knocks three times* Amy, Bernadette, Penny. *repeats three times*
Bernadette: He's never going to stop doing that, is he?
Amy: I don't mind. I'm hoping to put his love of repetition to good use someday.

Penny: You can't tell her what she can or can not do.
Sheldon: Last week you told Leonard he couldn't wear his wookie jacket out in public.
Penny: That's different. I'm not going to the mall with somebody dressed like a dumb space bear.

Sheldon: Are you sure your moth-like personality won't be drawn to this blazing fire that is myself?
Amy: More and more sure.