Raj: Exactly what I expected. Two people forcing their ideas on me and only one gentleman who could be bothered to ask me what my thoughts were. You two are out. Congratulations, Leonard, you're on the team.
Leonard: My mommy raised a gentleman.

Penny: If I was at a train station and one train could take me to my current job and the other train could take me to an audition for a movie, which train should I get on?
Sheldon: Are you using trains to trick me into giving you advice?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: All right then. You should take a third train where you audition for the movie, but hold off on making a career decision until you have more information.

Bernadette: I'm glad you have a new appreciation for you job.
Penny: I do. And you know, I don't think I've ever thanked you properly for helping me get it.
Bernadette: Properly? At all? It's just words I've never heard.

Sheldon: Hey, would you like to hear some songs I've rewritten to get children interested in the hard sciences?
Howard: Sure.
Leonard: Really?
Howard: Yeah. I like music. I like science. I like making fun of Sheldon. Hit it!

Sheldon: You can't breathe our air without an inhaler. He's allergic to Earth nuts, but I'm the alien.

Sheldon: Clearly, good things happen when I'm in charge. Now, why don't you boys step aside, let me knock this project out.
Leonard: Sheldon, you're not in charge. Raj is in charge.
Sheldon: Leonard, who's really in charge? The person in charge or those who put him in charge.
Raj: He's right. If you think about it, we're all in charge.
Sheldon: No, the guy in charge is in ch-. Why is everyone so bad at these?

Howard: Now if we're talking about being left out, you guys went to Skywalker Ranch without us.
Sheldon: Oh, I recommend that too. That was a magical experience.

Sheldon: *singing in the tune of "Eye of the Tiger"* It's the eye of the tiger, it's the ear of the bat. It's the whiskers of a catfish and the walrus--
Howard: Hang on. Not that your song isn't terrible-- it is... but how do you mention bats and leave out sonar?
Sheldon: You didn't let me finish. *singing* And also regarding the bat. It has sonar.

Raj: Okay, so we know that previous attempts to send a message into space, like the Golden Record on Voyager, were heavily criticized.
Leonard: Well, aliens could only play the Golden Record if they figured out how to build a record player.
Raj: Eh. Although, to be fair, I watched E.T. build a telephone out of a Speak & Spell and an umbrella. Dude was like a little brown MacGyver.

Leonard: Okay, since we agree on the delivery system for the message, maybe we should talk about what the message could be.
Raj: Well, I think we should show what earthlings look like.
Howard: The plaque they sent up on the Pioneer probe had a drawing of a naked man and woman on it.
Sheldon: Yeah, I never cared for that. It's advertising to predator races just how soft and squishy *squeezes Leonard* we are.
Leonard: Squeeze yourself!
Sheldon: Oh, don't be offended. You know, of the four of us, you have the most veal-like consistency.

Leonard: Now that we're all on the same page, let's get together tonight and work on it.
Sheldon: Get together tonight? Leonard, stop trying to control everything, and give poor Raj a chance to come up with what we should do. Go ahead, Raj.
Raj: Okay, I think we should do it right now.
Sheldon: Tonight works better for me.

Sheldon: How about we split the difference and discuss why Austria was an arch-duchy and not just a regular duchy?

Penny: You are a wise man.
Sheldon: Well, Penny, who's smarter, the wise man or the person who comes to him for advice?
Penny: Oh, I guess you're right. Maybe it is the person who asks.
Sheldon: No, it's the wise man. That's why they call him the wise man.

Leonard: Wait a minute. Sheldon spent a whole day with James Earl Jones and never told any of us.
Sheldon: I sure did. My goodness. From Jabba's head to ice cream with Darth Vader, I'm having a heck of a ride.

Sheldon: Do either of you know Beyonce? I'd love her to get behind it.