Howard: Now we get to see him flip out because he's worried that it was demolished by space ice.
Raj: Space ice is no joke. I can't even watch Frozen any more.

Howard: So in addition to being crazy, you're resting the weight of the mission on your athletic prowess?
Raj: Yes.
Howard: The man who crashed his stationary bike?
Raj: I didn't crash it, okay? My playlist was too up tempo, I got light headed and I fell off.

Howard: It's not like Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, right? Some bald guy with horns isn't going to rip my heart out?
Raj: Dude, that movie's an imperialist fantasy that makes the followers of a beautiful and peaceful religion look like a bunch of blood thirsty barbarians.
Howard: You love that movie.
Raj: Yeah, it's pretty great.

Howard: Is there anything I should know before I go in?
Raj: Like what?
Howard: Like am I dressed okay?
Raj: Really? So every other place you've been, you thought this was fine?

Raj: Seriously, you were just gonna drive away? Like my life isn't hard enough right now? A space probe might be destroyed. My parents are going through an awful divorce. The guy who cuts my dog's hair just gave her bangs.
Howard: Raj!
Raj: You saw her. She looks like Jim Carrey from Dumb & Dumber!

Raj: It all comes down to this.
(Raj shoots bottle in a trash can)
Howard: You happy? Now you can relax.
Raj: What kind of a scientist are you?! Everyone knows you've got to make two out of three!

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: If you people think this is better than Tom Hanks-Giving, you're all crazy.

Raj: You know, I thought cleaning out a dead professor's office was gonna just be boring, but then I found his dentures and realized it's also gross.

Raj: When stuff like this gets me down, you know what I like to do?
Howard: Sing Hakuna Matata like an eight-year-old girl?
Raj: Wrong, smarty pants. It's "Everything is Awesome" from the Lego Movie.

Professor Sharp: To be honest, his research never amounted to anything.
Raj: You were his colleague. How did your research turn out?
Professor Sharp: Great! This is the apartment you get when you win a Nobel.
Raj: You could be very frugal. I'm getting a little tired of everybody's sarcasm.

Leonard: Well, that's it. It's the end of Roger Abbott.
Raj: And we still don't know who framed him.

Raj: How can I be okay? I come from a broken home!

Raj: I'm sorry I'm so late. I was on the phone with my mother.
Bernadette: How is she?
Raj: Pretty good. She bought the book "Eat, Pray, Love", and used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire.

Raj: So, what's up with you guys?
Howard: We're just saying all the things we love about each other.
Raj: Oh, like you and I did at couple's therapy?