Howard: You sure you don't want to come watch Game of Thrones with us?
Bernadette: You guys have fun. I'm just gonna snuggle up in bed with a book.
Raj: Oh, that sounds great, a bed to yourself. Can't even remember what that's like.

Howard: All right, here we go.
Bernadette: I'm not hearing anything.
Howard: Well, give me a second.
Raj: Are you sure you can do this?
Howard: Hey, who found four dollars and change on the beach with his metal detector?
Raj: I buried it there so we could go home.

Raj: Of course. I'll give you guys some space. Let me just get this out of your way. (Raj fumbles around trying to move the gigantic teddy bear. He knocks over various objects in Howard & Bernadette's living room)
Howard: You need some help?
Raj: No, I got it.
Bernadette: Raj, Raj, wait.
Raj: Please, Bernadette. Let me leave with my dignity. (Raj falls over the teddy bear as he tries to move it out the door)

Bernadette: Come on, Raj, give me a bag.
Raj: No, no, you're pregnant. The only thing you carry is our hope for a better tomorrow.

Penny: Okay, here they come.
Bernadette: Go hide.
Raj: Oh, man, when I come out of the closet, I'm gonna nail those guys! Yeah, I heard it. Shut up.

Howard: Ready for dinner?
Penny: Yeah.
Bernadette: Should we invite Raj?
Raj: (Inside the closet) Yes.

Penny: All right, how are we gonna play this when they return?
Raj: I know. You guys should totally be making out with me.
Penny: Sweetie, I know you think jokes like that are funny, but do you really think you could handle making out with both of us? (Penny gets close to Raj)
Raj: No, ma'am.

Bernadette: Okay. Okay, how about this? They don't know you're here with us, so you hide in the closet. When they show up, we'll hear whatever their dumb story is about where they were, we'll pretend to believe them and just when they think they got away with it, you jump out.
Penny: Yeah, that's pretty good.
Raj: I love it, I'll be all like, "Busted!", and they'll be like, "What?", and then we'll all be like, "Oh, yeah!" Yeah, I get it. I wouldn't make out with me, either.

Raj: Okay. Would you ladies please leave the room for a moment?
Penny: Why?
Raj: I need to rub my genitals on their prototype.
Bernadette: What's going on?
Raj: Leonard and Howard dont have a flat. They went to the movies. Look.
Penny: Un-freakin' believable.
Bernadette: Son of a bitch!

Raj: Oh. You know what? I'm gonna let them know that I'm here with you and that they're busted.
Penny: No. You know what? Don't, don't. Let's let them think they're getting away with it.
Bernadette: Yeah, let's see how deep a hole they can dig for themselves.
Penny: Mmm-hmm.
Raj: Interesting. I mean, it's not testicles on a cryostat, but I like it.

Bernadette: Since when do you work on weekends?
Raj: I'm an astrophysicist. The stars don't take a day off.
Penny: You were home alone and had no one to play with?
Raj: Well, the cleaning lady was there, but she doesn't like me.

Raj: Okay, that's cool. I guess everybody's involved in this project but me. So, see ya.
Bernadette: I feel bad. Should we have asked him to stay?
Raj: (From outside) Yes.

Raj: Hello?
Claire: Hey, Raj. It's Claire. How are you?
Raj: Hi. I'm good. Really good.
Well, I don't know why I said "really good." I'm just regular good. I really just wanted to sound confident. And that "really" was a real "really", not a fake "really" like the first "really."
Claire: Really?
Raj: I don't know. I lost track and I missed my exit.

Raj: So, uh so what's up?
Claire: Well, last time we talked, I had just gotten back together with my boyfriend, and I wanted to let you know that things didn't work out.
Raj: Really? I'm sorry, I swear I know other words.

Claire: So if you were still interested-
Raj: Yes! Indeed! Absolutely! Indubitably! I'm not even sure what the last one means, but it's another word, and I know it.