Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 112 of 262
Quote from the episode The Proton Transmogrification
Amy: Watching your old friend?
Sheldon: Yes. Look at him, Amy. It's such a shame. Struck down in the prime of my life.
Quote from the episode The Proton Transmogrification
Sheldon: What are you doing?
Leonard: Comforting you.
Sheldon: Your heart might be in the right place, but your head, chest and arms certainly aren't.
Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation
Amy: (To sheldon) Hey, cuddles.
Leonard: Cuddles?
Sheldon: Yes, "cuddles". We cuddled. Grow up, Leonard.
Quote from the episode The Extract Obliteration
Howard: Sheldon, I know Stephen Hawking. I worked with him.
Sheldon: And if they ever come out with a game called Words with People You Once Worked With, you'll be off to the races.
Quote from the episode The Proton Transmogrification
Sheldon: I'm working on the Star Wars day schedule. Now, I have a window built in, after Phantom Menace, for complaining. But I'm worried an hour won't be enough time.
Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric
Amy: Okay, what's the next test?
Sheldon: Loyalty. We need to choose someone who has our backs, someone who will keep our secrets even from each other.
Amy: Well, I don't have any secrets from you. Do you have secrets from me?
Sheldon: Yes. Oh, that has been weighing on me for years.
Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence
Sheldon: You know what this is? And I reserve this word for those instances when it's truly reserved. This is malarkey.
Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence
Sheldon: If I wanted to waste my time on nonsense, I'd follow Leonard on Instagram.
Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence
Penny: Hey, maybe the answer to your career question is in one of these.
Sheldon: Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that's solves life's problems and that's an Oreo. Or a nutterbutter if you're in a pinch.
Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric
Sheldon: Howard, I've had my eye on this limited edition Swamp Thing, but now that I'm about to buy it, I'm having second thoughts. What do you think?
Howard: I don't know, Sheldon, it's pretty expensive.
Sheldon: Yes, but what if it will make me happy, you know, waking up and seeing it every morning for the rest of my life?
Howard: Really, a walking clump of swamp grass?
Sheldon: Yeah, well, Bernadette's no prize either!
Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence
Penny: Fine, I'll go. *Reads fortune cookie* "People turn to you for guidance and wisdom." Hey, that's a good one.
Sheldon: No, it's not.
Penny: How's it not good?
Sheldon: Turn to you for wisdom? Clearly that cookie is mocking you. ... You'd never hear that sass from a nutterbutter.
Quote from the episode The Confirmation Polarization
Amy: The last time we were in this room, we were getting married.
Sheldon: I remember. It's a lot less impressive without Mark Hamill in it.
Amy: That's what you said about our honeymoon.
Sheldon: And I stand by it.
Quote from the episode The Apology Insufficiency
Sheldon: Now to business. Eighteen years ago, I sent the FBI Crime Lab samples from a bag of excrement that had been lit on fire on my front porch for fingerprinting and DNA analysis. Why haven't I heard back yet?
Agent Page: Well, the FBI Crime Lab does have a lot on its plate.
Sheldon: That's of little comfort to a nation attempting to scrape burning faeces off its shoes.
Quote from the episode The Confirmation Polarization
Sheldon: Amy and I did this together, and I will not be part of an award that does not recognize the value of her contributions. So you either include both of us in the recommendation letter, or don't bother writing one.
President Siebert: I hope you know that's going to cause a fight between us and the Fermilab team.
Sheldon: If it's a fight that doesn't involve any touching, risk of physical harm or uncomfortable eye contact 'cause it's happening online or through intermediaries, I say bring it.
Quote from the episode The Table Polarization
Sheldon: No, you've opened my eyes to the truth. Amy has made me a more affectionate, open-minded person. And that stops now.
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