Amy: I didn't understand your e-mail.
Sheldon: Uh, can you repeat that? You're breaking up.
Amy: I didn't understand your e-mail.
Sheldon: Ah. Yeah, I had to get a little creative because the S, R and M keys on my laptop stopped working.
Amy: Deaw Aby, could you pleathe dwive be to the twain thtow thubtibe tobowow?
Sheldon: So, is that a yes?

Amy: Will you please tell me where were going?

Sheldon: Sorry, you're on a need-to-know basis.
Amy: I'm driving the car. I need to know.
Sheldon: Right.
Amy: So where are we going?
Sheldon: No, I meant turn right, and you missed it. Maybe you do need to know.

Amy: Okay, why do you have a bin of pine cones?
Sheldon: I used to collect them as a child. The spiral of scales open in the Fibonacci sequence. A fact that, when you tell your brother, gets a golf ball thrown at your head.

Amy: Wow, it's really coming down.
Penny: This sucks.
Leonard: And there goes our hike.
Sheldon: Oh, not our hike, now we have to stay safe and warm!

Amy: I'm surprised you would do that.
Sheldon: No, I crossed in the middle of the street. And normally, I wouldn't, but I saw an aggressive-looking Girl Scout, and it was the heart of cookie season. Anyway, there was a police officer, and he witnessed the whole thing.
Penny: What, he arrested you for that?
Sheldon: No, he didn't do anything. So I said, you just saw me jaywalk, why aren't you doing your job? You know, maybe I should arrest you for impersonating a police officer.
Penny: And then you got arrested.
Sheldon: Oh, and how!

Amy: Well, I get why he's annoyed.
Sheldon: Well, then you don't understand what's happening. See, Leonard refused to participate in a mandatory quarterly roommate agreement meeting. This is what a generation raised on Bart Simpson looks like.
Leonard: You love The Simpsons.
Sheldon: I love Lisa Simpson.

Leonard: It just said Italian sub. I had no idea mortadella has pistachios in it.
Sheldon: Interesting fact, in Italian, the morta in mortadella means death.
Amy: Sheldon.
Sheldon: I didn't say fun fact. I'm not a monster.
Bernadette: He's gonna be okay.
Sheldon: Now it's a fun fact.

Sheldon: Personally, I find the notion of external rewards demeaning. I pursue science for the intrinsic joy of discovery.
Amy: But you always say that you want to win a Nobel Prize.
Sheldon: I also say don't contradict me in front of my friends, but that you don't remember.

Bernadette: I guess we could give it a try.
Sheldon: Well, little lady, you've heard of party hearty, get ready to party hardly.

Penny: Hey, are you still hanging out with Bernadette tonight?
Sheldon: Yes. And we're going to prove that we don't need alcohol to enjoy ourselves.
Penny: Oh, good for you.
Sheldon: Or caffeine, tobacco, sushi, soft cheese, processed meats and jacuzzis, which can all be harmful to an unborn baby.
Penny: No honey baked ham in a hot tub, got it.
Sheldon: Oh, no bubble baths either. They can increase the risk of a urinary tract infection.
Leonard: Okay, have fun.
Sheldon: Oh, and no swordfish, king mackerel, shark or tilefish, which are all high in mercury.
Leonard: We're leaving now!
Sheldon: Oh, and no contact with guinea pigs or hamsters or their droppings, uh, no-no cat litter boxes, no paint fumes.
Penny: Okay, we're leaving, love you, bye.
Sheldon: Boy, do I love restrictions.

Bernadette: I brought sparkling cider.
Sheldon: Oh, the bubbles tickle my nose. I'll just open this now so it can get nice and flat before we drink it.

Sheldon: H-O gauge trains are 1/87th scale. N gauge are 1/160th scale. And that brings us to Z gauge, at a - you could easily swallow it, dont ask how I know - 1 to 220.
Bernadette: I'm sorry, I have to ask.
Sheldon: When I was five, I ingested a Z gauge locomotive. I spent the next three days saying, "I think I can pass it, I think I can pass it, I think I can pass it."

Bernadette: What is it about trains that you like so much?
Sheldon: What an interesting question. When I was a child, life was confusing and chaotic for me, and trains represented order. I could line them up, categorize them, control them. I guess you could say that they gave me a sense of calm in a world that didn't.
Bernadette: That's lovely, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, other than when they're chugging through your bowels, these things are magic.

Sheldon: You're gonna enjoy this. I designed it especially for you.
Bernadette: Okay, but just for a little bit.
Sheldon: Oh, I have a feeling that once you start, you're not gonna want to or be allowed to stop.

Bernadette: Okay, I guess I should eat the Hell Prawn.
Sheldon: Using your sword, you prepare a beautiful sushi dinner. You slip into the hot spring and enjoy the warm water on your aching joints. As you happily close your eyes, you recall the incredible evening you've had and notice that your feet and ankles are smaller than they've ever been. The end.