Stuart Bloom Quotes Page 3 of 7

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Showing quotes 31 to 45 of 91Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Stuart: That's right, ladies. For all you know, I'm confident and fun to be around.

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Stuart: I haven't seen this many people in my store since that Korean Church bus crashed through my window.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Raj: Okay, let's try it again. But this time, pretend the girl you want to meet doesn't want to hurt you.
Stuart: I don't think I can give you that.

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Stuart: Hello. Oh good, I'm glad you guys didn't wait for me to start. Although you said seven and it's seven. It's fine!

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Stuart: So I met Jeanie at your Aunt Gladys's. She passed me the Manischewitz, I took one look at this punim, and almost plotzed on the kugel.

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Raj: The theme will be that the greatest love a man can have is the love he has with himself.
Stuart: That's good. Or maybe something a little less hand in the pants.

Quote from the episode The Tangible Affection Proof

Raj: It's nice that all the people who are lonely on Valentine's Day can come here tonight and be together.
Stuart: Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it. In fact, there's no place I would rather be than here.
Raj: Except on a date with anybody.
Stuart: Literally anybody.

Quote from the episode The Leftover Thermalization

Leonard: Stuart, have you thought about what you'd do if Howard sells the house?
Stuart: And there goes the mood.

Quote from the episode The Leftover Thermalization

Howard: Certainly a lot more women are reading comic books now.
Stuart: It's true. In the store, I had to put a seat on the toilet.

Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation

Stuart: Do you guys know any musicians?
Howard: Why?
Stuart: I was thinking it might be cool to have live music here a few nights a week. You know, give this place more of a "staying in business" vibe.

Quote from the episode The 2003 Approximation

Raj and Howard: Indy' whip snapped. Thor's hammer missed. It was Avenger vs archeologist. Indy held his ground. And straightened his fedora. Thor said, "That's a nice look In 1944-a".
Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones. Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones.
Stuart: Play something we can dance to.

Quote from the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Penny: Uh, have you read the online reviews for this place?
Stuart: Eh, the Internet's so negative. I try to avoid it.
Penny: All right. Well, Heather H. says, "The owner stared at me the whole time and didn't blink once."
Kelly M. says, "The creepy guy who runs it asked me out, then called himself stupid before I could say no."
Jessica K. says, "I told the weird owner that I liked his shirt. He took it off and gave it to me."
Stuart: See? Negative.

Quote from the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Penny: Well, so how does it work?
Stuart: Ah, well, it shows me all the single women in a five-mile radius who are using the app. If I like the way they look, I hit thumbs up. If I don't, thumbs down.
Bernadette: Oh, what would make you give a girl a thumbs down?
Stuart: First time it happens I will let you know.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Hey. Where's Sheldon? Still sick?
Leonard: No, he's fine. We just needed a little break.
Stuart: Yeah, I get that. When I brought him his comics the other day, he said, "Oh, great, Death is literally at my door." He was being a jerk to everyone. Don't take it personally.
Stuart: Oh, I'm on so many antidepressants, I couldn't if I wanted to.

Quote from the episode The Empathy Optimization

Penny: You couldn't give us just one weekend?
Stuart: I told him this was a bad idea.

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