Howard: How did you get so brave all of a sudden?
Raj: It's easy. The spider's crawling up your arm.

Leonard: Remember when you were wondering why the girls didn't want to eat with us tonight?
Howard: Yeah, I get it now.

Howard: Don't be oversensitive. He's calling you illiterate, not your race.
Raj: Oh, okay. Good.

Sheldon: I don't care for novelty editions of Monopoly. I prefer the classics: regular and Klingon.
Howard: Actually, Indian Monopoly is just like regular. Except the money is in rupees and instead of hotels, you build call centers. And when you pick a chance card, you might die of dysentery. Just FYI, that was racist.

Howard: Aah, this takes me back. Leonard obsessing about Penny. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love your new stuff but, once in a while, it's nice to hear the hits.
Raj: Ooh, ooh, do "our babies will be smart and beautiful." That one always makes me laugh.

Raj: Excuse me, I can't be drinking, I'm about to make an important scientific discovery here.
Howard:What? Galileo did his best work while drinking wine.
Raj: How do you know that?
Howard: He was Italian, it's a reasonable assumption.
Raj: Dude, can you even open your mouth without saying a cultural stereotype?
Howard: I'm sorry. Galileo drank diet sprite.

Howard: I'm guessing 21 seconds had something to do with that too.

Howard: We're looking for Sheldon, not Marmaduke.

Penny: Okay, help me out here. How does an archaeology professor get that good with a whip?
Howard: Maybe he took a class at the adult bookstore. That's how I learned.

Leonard: Uh, I hope they let us in soon. I'm tired of running to the gas station to use the bathroom. The guy makes me buy a Gatorade every time. It's a vicious circle.
Howard: Too bad you don't have a stadium pal like me.
Leonard: What's a stadium pal?
Howard: Let me put it this way. Takes care of the bathroom problem and it keeps your calf warm.

Howard: This is the worst cobbler I've ever eaten. It tastes like it's made of actual ground-up shoemaker.
Sheldon: Amusing. A play on the two meanings of cobbler.

Howard: I have a girlfriend now.
Priya: Hey, good for you.
Howard: Yeah, I just wanna put it out there in case I inadvertently squirt any pheromones in your direction.

Sheldon: I think a more amusing violation of Rajs trust is when Howard convinced him that foreigners give presents to Americans on Thanksgiving.
Howard: Hey, I didn't see you giving back your Snoopy snowcone maker.
Raj: That was all a lie? This year's gifts are already wrapped!

Howard: Just FYI, don't try to go back with a fake moustache. I mean, they may not really be geniuses, but they see right through that.

Howard: For all we know Glacinda the Troll wasn't even a real woman. She could have been a fifty year old truck driver from New Jersey.