Leonard Hofstadter Quotes Page 10 of 64

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Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Leonard: Remember the day we first met and you asked me to go to your boyfriend's apartment to get your TV back? And he was 9 feet tall and he took my pants off and you said- What was that? What did you say? Oh, yes, you said you owed me one.
Penny: Oh, come on, that's not fair.
Leonard: I came home with no pants.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: I couldn't sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom is our living room and just outside our living room is that hallway and immediately adjacent to that hallway is [Penny's messed up apartment]!
Leonard: Do you realize if Penny wakes up there's no reasonable explanation to why we are here?
Sheldon: I just gave you a reasonable explanation.
Leonard: No, no. You gave me an explanation. Its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of your peers.

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Penny: Ok, here you go Leonard. One tequila sunrise!
Leonard: Thank you! You know, this drink is a wonderful example of how liquids with different specific gravities interact in a cylindrical container!

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Leonard: Come on, she's your friend. Step up! [Knock * 3] Amy. [Knock * 3] Amy. [Knock * 3] Amy. (Turns to leave) Bye!
Sheldon: Where are you going?
Leonard: I'm single, I don't need this crap.

Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis

Leonard: Some kind of nerd? I'm the king of nerds.
Penny: What does that mean?
Leonard: It means that if someone makes me mad, I won't help them set up their printer.

Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Leonard: We're always the good guys. In D&D, we're lawful good. In City of Heroes, we're the heroes. In Grand Theft Auto, we pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat.
Sheldon: Those women are prostitutes? You said they were raising money for stem cell research.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence

Leonard: Merry Newtonmas everyone.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence

Leonard: I'm fine. How are you?
Beverly Hofstadter: Menopausal.
Leonard: Now I'm less fine.

Quote from the episode The Raiders Minimization

Leonard: There's chapters about potty training, bed wetting and masturbation. Basically, if something came out of me, she wrote about it!

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Leonard: All right, here's the deal. Sheldon is gone so the tree decorating rules are out the window.
Penny: Which means we don't have to use his ridiculous ornament spacing template.
Leonard: And I'm happy to report its Kickstarter campaign is holding steady at $0.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Leonard: I bet I could throw a rock in this room and come up with three better friends!

Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Leonard: Where have you been?
Sheldon: Oh, Leonard, if I was prone to sarcasm I'd say I was pulling off a major heist at the museum of laundry baskets.
Leonard: (Counts to 10 and takes a breath) What I meant was, gee Sheldon! You were gone a long time!

Quote from the episode The Leftover Thermalization

Leonard: I know shopping cheers you up, but it's not really my thing.
Penny: Well, how about this helicopter you control with an iPad?
Leonard: Does it have a camera in it?
Penny: It does have a camera in it.
Leonard: Baby's listening.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Combustion

Penny: Leonard, what time does your mom's plane get in?
Leonard: I don't know. Sometime tomorrow morning.
Penny: Don't you want to know for sure?
Leonard: No need to. As soon as she flies into California airspace, I'll feel a disturbance in the Force.

Quote from the episode The Leftover Thermalization

Leonard: He always needs all the attention. He's such a baby.
Penny: I know. I know.
Leonard: I swear he is never playing with my helicopter.

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