Sheldon: I call this meeting of the Council of Sheldons to order. Let's take roll. Science Sheldon?
Science Sheldon: Present.
Sheldon: Texas Sheldon?
Texas Sheldon: Howdy.
Sheldon: Fanboy Sheldon?
Fanboy Sheldon: Greetings.
Sheldon: Germaphobe Sheldon?
Germaphobe Sheldon: Say it, don't spray it.
Humorous Sheldon: Where's Jock Sheldon?
Sheldon: Not the time, Humorous Sheldon!

Sheldon: Okay, new business. Do we grant Laid-back Sheldon a seat on the council?
Laid-back Sheldon: Hey, whatever you guys want. I'm just chillin' like Bob Dylan.

Sheldon: When the toupee licked my hand I screamed and hopped down the street on my remaining flip-flop.
Amy: Can I just ask?
Sheldon: No, this is a long story. Why don't we please save your questions till the end?

Sheldon: So, I-I finally came upon a bus bench where I sat and removed one of my shirts and, uh, fashioned it into a makeshift shoe. Not a waterproof shoe. That is relevant to the next part of my story, the ankle-deep puddle of warm apple juice.
Amy: Apple juice?
Sheldon: Maybe, maybe not. I'm telling myself a lot of things, Amy.

Amy: What happened to your other flip-flop?
Sheldon: Oh, well, that involves what I am telling myself was a melted candy bar.

Amy: Is there anything I can do to help?
Sheldon: Yes. I want you to be in charge of our wedding. Just you tell me where and when, and I will show up with a boutonnire and close-toed shoes and a a Star Trek uniform underneath my tuxedo. That last part is non-negotiable.

Amy: Are you sure that's what you want?
Sheldon: As sure as I'm about to go bathe in Purell.

Ruchi: It's too bad Stuart couldn't make it. He seemed fun.
Raj: Oh, yeah, he is. I love him dearly, yeah. Not to say that I don't worry about him.
Ruchi: What's to worry about?
Raj: You know what? I'm talking out of school. Speaking of which, he's allowed to live near them now.

Raj: Look, Ruchi and I are really hitting it off. Please let me just have this one!
Stuart: I'm not going anywhere. I'm like a fungus you can't get rid of.
Ruchi: Sorry. So what's going on?
Raj: Oh, you just missed Stuart's funny story about the fungus he can't get rid of.

Stuart: If you still want to hang out as friends, I'd like that.
Ruchi: Thanks, Stuart. I'd like that, too.
Stuart: And the fungus is under the toenail.

Sheldon: After I got the flip-flops, I realized that the tops of my feet were exposed, so, um, I put on some sunscreen, which caused my feet to become slippery. And predictably, one of them fell off and went down a sewer grate. Now, normally, I would have walked away, but this is a new, laid-back me, so, instead of getting upset, I just reached down to grab it. That's when I touched something furry which I'm telling myself was a damp toupee.

Penny: Hey, this isn't your laundry night.
Sheldon: I know. Laundry on a Wednesday. It's the madness my life has become.

Penny: Why is this sleep-talking thing bothering you anyway?
Sheldon: It's simple. I don't like the idea that my mind might be keeping an entire personality from me.
Dr. Jekyll's other personality was Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hyde. Didn't have a postgraduate degree.

Penny: Is it possible that you're stressed because you're scared about getting married? I mean, it is a big change, and you're not good with little changes.
Sheldon: Well, that's nonsense. You name one little change I was upset with.
Penny: Uh, when they changed the green Skittle from lime to apple.
Sheldon: That is not the rainbow I grew up tasting.

Penny: Is it possible that the sleep-talking is a part of your brain that's telling you everything's gonna be okay and you just need to relax a little?
Sheldon: So you're proposing that the self is an illusion, and that we actually have multiple centers of consciousness that are communicating with one another?
Penny: In laymen's terms, yeah.
Sheldon: Huh. Interesting. So you don't believe there's a Cartesian self that underlies the flux of experience?
Penny: Maybe in my twenties, not anymore.