Leonard: Thank you. I'll get started right away.
President Siebert: And I look forward to hearing nothing about it.
Leonard: I will keep you posted.

Howard: Hey, thank you guys again for helping out yesterday.
Raj: No problem. That was really fun.
Sheldon: It was fun. But I am sore.
Howard: You didn't lift a finger.
Sheldon: No, but I narrated the entire event, and I am paying for it today.

Leonard: Gentlemen.
Raj: Hey.
Sheldon: Hi.
Howard: Leonard, do I detect a little swagger in your step?
Leonard: Mm, possibly.
Sheldon: Well, stop. It doesn't suit you.

Leonard: Cute, but President Siebert trusted me with this, and I'm taking it seriously. If you have a legitimate request, you can submit it to me in writing, and I'll evaluate it based on its merits.
Howard: Sure, sure. Is "Jet Ski" one word or two?

Bernadette: Bad news, Howie. I'm gonna be stuck at work for a while. Oh, that's terrible.
Hang in there. I'll be home as soon as I can. (sighs) He deserves better.

Penny: Oh, you should have seen him, denying things left and right. It was so sexy. 'Course, I made a request he did not deny.
Bernadette: Uh-huh.
Penny: Are you listening to me?
Bernadette: Yeah, sure. You slept with your husband.

Penny: What is going on with you?
Bernadette: It's not a big thing. Have you ever told Leonard a little white lie?
Penny: Mm. Well, he thinks I've seen every one of the Star Wars movies, but I've really only seen the one with the gold robot.
Bernadette: That could be any of them.
Penny: Exactly.

Bernadette: I've been telling Howie that I've had to work late the past couple nights, but really, I've just been hiding out in Howie's playhouse. Does that make me awful?
Penny: Awful? No. Uh, strange? Yes. Sad? A little, yes.

Penny: So, you go home and sit alone in a toy house in the backyard?
Bernadette: Yeah!

Leonard: Well, l-look, I only have enough money to fund one request, but your project is definitely in the running.
Doctor Lee: Okay, but, uh, when do you think you might make a decision? Because I have to upgrade their cages before they learn how to open the locks. When I came in to my lab this morning, they suddenly got silent. I think they're planning something.

Barry Kripke: Whoa, whoa, whoa! So you're just gonna give the money to your friend? I smell a rat.
Doctor Lee: I work with rats, too. That might be me.

Leonard: I'm not just giving it to my friend, Barry. Your proposal is also in the mix.
Howard: Wait, so those are the three? You're not even considering mine? Why, because they're PhDs and I'm just an engineer?
Leonard: No, because they wrote detailed proposals, and you sent a YouTube clip of the guy from Jerry Maguire saying, "Show me the money!"

Howard: I can tell you're stressed. If it helps, I withdraw my proposal.
Leonard: It doesn't help.
Howard: Fine. Then I'm back in the mix. Show me the money!

Leonard: Okay, I just- I need everyone to back off. I'm in charge here, and I'll decide when I'm ready to decide.
Raj: When will that be?
Leonard: A day, a week. I don't know!
Raj: Where are you going?
Leonard: I don't know that either!

Leonard: There has got to be a right decision based on empirical evidence. Look, I made pros and cons lists, and then I came up with three different scoring systems to determine the best project. I just don't know what scoring system to use. So I'm working on a meta-scoring system to score the scoring systems, but the math is really complicated. You want me to walk you through it?