Barry Kripke: Hofstadter! Heard Siebert put you in charge of the administrative fund. Can't think of a better guy for the job.
Sheldon: I think he's done this before.

Barry Kripke: Leonard, I know you and I have a oh, troubled history, but I hope that when I make my request you'll give me a fair shot.
Leonard: Of course.
Barry Kripke: See? That's why I like about this guy: integrity. Bring it in! I just put something in your pocket. It's good at all El Pollo Locos.

Bernadette: Bad news, Howie. I'm gonna be stuck at work for a while. Oh, that's terrible.
Hang in there. I'll be home as soon as I can. (sighs) He deserves better.

Leonard: No, I'm not going to reconsider. Your request was denied. I don't care if it helps you think; you don't need a koi pond in your office. Well, you should have thought about that before you bought the koi!
Penny: Wow. That was a little rough.
Leonard: Well, I have to be. Everyone assumes I'm just gonna give them whatever they want.
Penny: Hmm. But you're not, are you?
Leonard: No, I'm not. I mean, look at this. An espresso machine? I don't think so. Denied!
Penny: Wow, I really like this side of you.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: Yeah, just so decisive.
Leonard: Well, check this out. A standing desk. Denied!
Penny: Oh!
Leonard: If you want to stand, do it on your own time, 'cause I'm the boss.
Penny: Yeah, you are.

Sheldon: Leonard, I just wanted to congratulate you on how well you are managing this grant money.
Leonard: What do you want?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just came by to pay you a compliment.
Leonard: Nice try. The answer's no.
Sheldon: To what? I'm not asking you for anything. All I need for my job is right here.
Hmm? This is my office. Which makes for a great commute. Home, work, home. I'm still working, I'm just working from home.
Penny: You know, if it's that easy, then why does Leonard have to drive you to work every day?
Sheldon: Because I like the frozen yogurt machine in the cafeteria. Ooh, I suppose I could use a frozen yogurt machine-
Leonard: Denied!

Penny: Oh, you should have seen him, denying things left and right. It was so sexy. 'Course, I made a request he did not deny.
Bernadette: Uh-huh.
Penny: Are you listening to me?
Bernadette: Yeah, sure. You slept with your husband.

Penny: What is going on with you?
Bernadette: It's not a big thing. Have you ever told Leonard a little white lie?
Penny: Mm. Well, he thinks I've seen every one of the Star Wars movies, but I've really only seen the one with the gold robot.
Bernadette: That could be any of them.
Penny: Exactly.

Bernadette: I've been telling Howie that I've had to work late the past couple nights, but really, I've just been hiding out in Howie's playhouse. Does that make me awful?
Penny: Awful? No. Uh, strange? Yes. Sad? A little, yes.

Bernadette: It's just that work's been crazy, and the minute I get home, I have two kids hanging on me, and sometimes I don't want babies pulling my hair and pinching my belly fat.
Penny: That'd be a good slogan for a condom company.

Penny: So, you go home and sit alone in a toy house in the backyard?
Bernadette: Yeah!

Doctor Lee: Oh, Dr. Hofstadter, did you have a chance to look over my proposal?
Leonard: I did, and your research is fascinating. I had no idea that crows were that smart. Do they really hold grudges?
Doctor Lee: They do. One of them escaped from my behavioral study a year ago. I can't prove it's him, but something craps on my car every day.

Leonard: Well, l-look, I only have enough money to fund one request, but your project is definitely in the running.
Doctor Lee: Okay, but, uh, when do you think you might make a decision? Because I have to upgrade their cages before they learn how to open the locks. When I came in to my lab this morning, they suddenly got silent. I think they're planning something.

Barry Kripke: Whoa, whoa, whoa! So you're just gonna give the money to your friend? I smell a rat.
Doctor Lee: I work with rats, too. That might be me.

Leonard: I'm not just giving it to my friend, Barry. Your proposal is also in the mix.
Howard: Wait, so those are the three? You're not even considering mine? Why, because they're PhDs and I'm just an engineer?
Leonard: No, because they wrote detailed proposals, and you sent a YouTube clip of the guy from Jerry Maguire saying, "Show me the money!"

Howard: I can tell you're stressed. If it helps, I withdraw my proposal.
Leonard: It doesn't help.
Howard: Fine. Then I'm back in the mix. Show me the money!