Howard: Guys, so what do you think?
Leonard: Well, I don't know, we're pretty happy here.
Penny: Yeah. Plus, if we moved, we'd probably just get a loft downtown.
Leonard: Really? I always figured we'd get a place with a yard.
Penny: Oh, sure, yeah, that makes sense, so you could shoot hoops and mow the lawn?

Howard: How are you two married?
Leonard: You were there. I wore her down.
Penny: He did.

Raj: You guys should've talked about all this stuff while you were dating. I mean, me and Anu already know so much about each other.
Bernadette: Wait, I forget, is Anu your waxer?
Raj: Uh, no, that's Annette. Anu is the woman my father fixed me up with. We're going on our first date tomorrow. Which reminds me, I need to see Annette.

Amy: You're really letting your father pick out a wife?
Raj: Why not? Arranged marriages have been working for thousands of years. Anu and I come from similar backgrounds, our families get along and we each filled out questionnaires, so we know we're not wasting our time with someone who's not compatible.
Penny: Oh, that sounds so dry and clinical.
Sheldon: You lucky duck.

Leonard: I just don't think you can truly know someone until you've spent a lot of time with them.
Raj: Really? What's Penny's dream vacation?
Leonard: Uh, Malibu beach house.
Penny: That's Barbie's dream vacation. Maybe you should send us that questionnaire.

Howard: Enjoying your book?
Bernadette: So much.
Howard: Why do you keep poking at it?
Bernadette: Fine, I'm shopping on my phone.
Howard: You're the one who said you wanted to read more.
Bernadette: Yes, I also tell people I only feed the kids organic. It's just stuff you say.

Stuart: Uh, what are you guys up to?
Howard: Reading.
Denise: Oh, nice, I wish I read more.
Bernadette: Well, if it's important, you find the time.

Bernadette: How do you feel about this?
Howard: That she can clearly do better, but that's not for me to say.

Bernadette: No, with them in his room, doing stuff.
Howard: Oh, come on, we're sitting right out here. They're not gonna do anything.
["Smooth Operator" starts playing loudly in Stuart's room]
I'd like to change my answer.

Penny: Wow, you really are good at this.
Leonard: Well, I've spent a lot of time painting D&D miniatures. I know that makes you want to rip my shirt off, but wait until your nails are dry.

Leonard: He sent us that Indian marriage questionnaire.
Penny: Ooh, read one.
Leonard: Okay. "How religious are you?" That's easy, both of us: not at all.
Penny: No, I wouldn't say not at all. I mean, I am pretty spiritual. I do go to yoga, so...
Leonard: Great, so your church is Our Lady of the Stretchy Pants.

Leonard: Next question. Uh, "how close are you with your family?"
Penny: Pretty close.
Leonard: I'm gonna say not too close, but I'm hoping to get farther.

Leonard: How do you feel about children?
Penny: Um, they're okay, I guess. I mean, if I saw one, I wouldn't throw a rock at it.
Leonard: Why would you throw a rock at a child?
Penny: (chuckles) I just said I wouldn't.

Leonard: "How are you with pets?" Well, I did take care of Sheldon for 15 years, and he only bit me twice.

Anu: Excuse me. Can we please get sparkling instead of tap, some clean silverware and find out what they're having? That looks delicious.
Waiter: Yes, ma'am.
Anu: Thank you. So, you're an astrophysicist?
Raj: Yes, ma'am. I-I mean, uh, just yes. U-Unless you prefer "ma'am."
Anu: I don't.
Raj: Good, because you don't seem like a ma'am. You seem more like a sweet thang.
Anu: Wow. You are not good at this.