Howard: If there's a chance someone's gonna see you naked, it's also polite to make sure you're well-groomed down there.
Bernadette: I get it, Howard. I've been busy!

Amy: I can't stop thinking about that present. It's driving me crazy.
Sheldon: Me, too! The card said it was the perfect gift. But it's not a dinosaur fossil or matching pocket watches, so I don't see how it can be.

Amy: Maybe we're trying too hard. Maybe it's something simple.
Sheldon: (gasps) Like Leonard and Penny. Yes, good.

Sheldon: We just need to think like them. (inhales, exhales) Okay. What gift can I get us to express how grateful we are to have us in their lives?
Amy: Way to make it simple.

Sheldon: I'm just gonna ask them.
Amy: No, you can't; it'll hurt their feelings.
Sheldon: I'm okay with that.
Amy: And they'll know you weren't smart enough to figure it out on your own.
Sheldon: You're right. Oh, this is awful. And I can't even comfort myself by stroking the fossilized tibia of a Pentaceratops.

Amy: Let's just go to sleep. We'll look at it in the morning with fresh eyes, and maybe it'll come to us.
Sheldon: Fine.
Amy: Or we go tear apart that box and look for a clue.
Sheldon: Staying up past my bedtime and solving mysteries? Who knew married life could be this good?

Denise: Do you think when Krypto the Superdog is out flying, Superman has to fly after him with a little baggie?
Stuart: Hmm. Haven't really thought about it before. But he doesn't need a baggie, because he just blasts the poop with his heat vision.
Denise: You've thought about it before.
Stuart: Oh, I've thought about it a lot.

Howard: What is wrong with Stuart's face?
Raj: I think he's smiling.

Howard: Oh, my God, are they flirting?
Raj: Oh, they're way past flirting. I caught them making out at Sheldon's wedding.
Howard: Are you sure she wasn't trying to breathe life back into him?
Raj: I don't think so. When I used that much tongue at CPR training, I had to buy the dummy.

Howard: So, what's her deal? Is she into you or does she just hate her parents?

Stuart: We kissed a little at the wedding, and it was great. But we haven't really talked about it since then. So I-I don't know how she feels about me.
Howard: Well, she patted you on the head, so I'm guessing she feels like you're such a good boy!

Stuart: Seriously, do you think I should ask her out?
Raj: Absolutely. Don't let love get away. It is the most important thing in the world. Without it, life is dark and meaningless and all you're left with is the judgmental gaze of your dog as you finish off a bag of Doritos on the toilet.

Amy: Sheldon, that's not how you write a thank you card.
Sheldon: What's wrong with it?
Amy: "Dear Aunt Helen, thank you so much for the lovely place setting. If my handwriting looks strained, that is because this is the 16th thank you card Amy has forced me to write. The muscles in my wrist are cramping as I struggle to finish this sentence. Ow, ow, oh, the pain. Love, Sheldon."
Sheldon: Fine. "And Amy." Ow.

Amy: This one is from Leonard and Penny. Aw. "The perfect gift for the perfect couple."
Sheldon: Save that card. We may need to throw it back in their faces.

Amy: I wonder what it could be.
Sheldon: Oh, could be anything. A flute, a letter opener, one of those pens where you put the bikini back on the naked lady.