Raj: Hey, check out what Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted. "I've been informed that some random, attention-seeking nobody took a cheap shot at me on the local news." That's me. Guys, he's talking about me!

Bernadette: Raj, you need to apologize to Dr. Tyson.
Raj: Why? This could be good for me. Everybody loves a good Twitter feud. Neil and I could be like the new, uh, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift.

Bernadette: Come on, Raj, you're better than this.
Raj: Oh, leave room for dessert 'cause I'm gonna make you eat those words.

Raj: (clears throat) "Dear Dr. Tyson, "much like epithelial tissue, it appears I've gotten under your skin." iPhone drop, but I won't 'cause I don't have AppleCare.

Bernadette: What'd he say?
Raj: "Nice try, genius. The skin is epithelial tissue." Oh, it's on. He's Katy, I'm T-Swift.

Sunny Morrow: And with us today to talk about the upcoming meteor shower and the best places to view it, Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali. Thank you for being here.
Raj: Thank you for having me. I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson was unavailable.
Sunny Morrow: (laughs) Yeah.
Raj: What do you mean, "yeah"?
Sunny Morrow: Not important. So, what can we expect to see from this meteor shower?
Raj: Well, I think you can count on a lot of flaming gas, which is what you would have gotten from your first choice, Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Sunny Morrow: Sounds like there's no love lost between you and Dr. Tyson.
Raj: Oh, no, I love Neil. I mean, not as much as Neil loves Neil, but who does, right?

Sunny Morrow: Oh, you know, I'm told we are out of time, (chuckles) having learned nothing about meteor showers and too much about Dr. Koothrappali.
Raj: Thank you.

Sheldon: Do you know what I love about Broadway theater? It's so interactive.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: You're so close to the actors. It's like you're in the play.
Amy: Uh-huh.
Sheldon: I mean, you yell, "Harry, watch out," he looks right at you. And not just Harry, everyone onstage.
Amy: At the risk of sounding redundant, uh-huh.

Sheldon: All right, well, it's a bit late, but I did block out the rest of the evening for conjugal relations. Should we shower? I mean before, not during. That's how you fall and break a hip.

Amy: You know, I'm a little jet-laggy. Maybe we can revisit this in the morning.
Sheldon: Oh, no can do. If we miss tonight, it's not scheduled until Thursday at 6:00. And that'll have to be "no frills," 'cause we've got a 6:30 reservation at Benihana.

Amy: Sheldon, do we really have to do this on a schedule?
Sheldon: Are you suggesting spontaneity?
Amy: I guess, yeah.
Sheldon: So, now that we're married, sex can occur at any time? Like, we can be brushing our teeth, and suddenly your minty-fresh tongue is in my mouth? No, thank you.

Amy: Really? Would it be so bad to mix it up a little?
Sheldon: Mix it up? Who are you, Betty Crocker?

Amy: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Uh, to take a shower. Now that sex can happen at any time, I always have to be ready. Should probably live under a waterfall.
Amy: Well, you don't have to worry about sex happening tonight.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, thanks, but I'm still gonna rinse off. I touched a lot of stuff in the gift shop.

Bellman: If you need any recommendations while visiting New York, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Amy: Well, it is our honeymoon.
Sheldon: So we are going to be quite busy.
Bellman: Got it.
Amy: Harry Potter play, parts one and two.
Sheldon: And tomorrow, a tour of the sites where Nikola Tesla lived, worked and slowly went crazy. And, of course, coitus.
Bellman: Ah. Well, enjoy New York. And, I guess, coitus.