Sheldon: In the meantime, please forward my mail.
Leonard: Any place specific or just the Bozeman, Montana Loony Bin?
Sheldon: I sense you're making a joke, but Bozeman does have a comedy club called The Loony Bin, so do not forward my mail there.

Sheldon: I'm going to be a Bozite.
Leonard: They call themselves Bozites?
Sheldon: They should. It's one of the first thing I plan to bring up upon arrival.

Howard: Boy, seems like forever since the four of us have been out to eat, you know? Just the guys.
Raj: Oh, God. Yes, we get it. You have a girlfriend now.
Howard: A little jealous, are we?
Raj: No, I'm not jealous. All right, I'd kill a hobo if it'll get me laid. Now, can we order?

Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord, they re-did the menu.
Leonard: So what? It's the same food.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? Look at this. General Tso's Chicken is no longer listed under specialties. It's now under chicken.
Raj: So?
Sheldon: Yes, General Tso.
Raj: Not Tso the chicken, so the question. So?
Sheldon: So, why is it no longer a specialty? Did the chef lose confidence in the dish or himself?

Sheldon: You know, the more I think about it, the mobster sauce couldn't possibly contain chunks of mobster.
Leonard: And why is that?
Sheldon: It was listed under seafood.
Leonard: What if they were mobsters who slept with the fishes?
Sheldon: Leonard, are we having a serious conversation or not?

Howard: Hey, look who's back!
Sheldon: Interesting. The acquaintance is the first to greet me.

Howard: Oh, come on. So you were the victim of a crime. That's part of life. When my great-grandfather first came to this country, he put all his hopes and dreams into this little butcher shop he ran on the Lower East Side of New York. You know what happened? Every customer who walked into that butcher shop and asked for a pound of liver, got ripped off. But, those people moved on, and so should you.

Sheldon: All right, Boone, North Carolina. Every summer since 1952, Boone has hosted an outdoor amphitheater portrayal of the life and times of its namesake, Dan’l Boone. Sounds like something that would attract the wrong crowd.

Leonard: Don't you think looking for a new city to live in is a bit of an overreaction?
Sheldon: Our apartment was broken into, our security system tried to kill me, and as a result, I'm leaving Pasadena forever. Tell me how that's overreacting.
Penny: Come on, Sheldon, you can't move. Don't you need to stay in one place so the mother ship can find you when it returns?
Sheldon: Oh, if that were only true. Unfortunately, as I'm earthbound for the foreseeable future, I need to find a location that's more hospitable than the mean streets of Pasadena.

Leonard: God, Sheldon. What the hell are you doing out there?
Sheldon: I heard a noise.
Leonard: It was us. We knocked over a lamp.
Sheldon: Why would you knock over a lamp?
Leonard: We were going to have...
Penny: He doesn't need to know what we were doing, Leonard.
Sheldon: Oh! No, she's right, I don't need to know what you were doing. Carry on.

Sheldon: Wonderful security system if we're attacked by a school of tuna.
Howard: Don't worry, the net's going to be electrified. Picture her on the floor, spasming uncontrollably.
Sheldon: Better.

Howard: Now, inside, we've got motion detectors, infrared sensors, and cameras connected to a server running state-of-the-art facial recognition software.
Leonard: Where did you get all this stuff?
Howard: I got a buddy over at the Department of Defense.
Leonard: He just gave it to you?
Howard: I'm sure he would have if I had asked. Ironically, their security isn't all that good.

Leonard: You know what? Let's just get a pizza.
Sheldon: Good idea. We'll go to Corleone's.
Howard: Sure, no mobsters there.

Policeman: We're done here. Call this number, and w'll fax you a copy of the report so you can submit it to your insurance company.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, that's the end of your inquiry?
Policeman: Do you have any more information that might be relevant?
Sheldon: Oh, my goodness. Where do I begin? For instance, my laptop contained four out of the five Gedanken experiments necessary for a cogent restatement of the quantum measurement problem.
Leonard: How is that going to help them?
Sheldon: Well, they could monitor scientific publications and see if anyone posts such a cogent restatement in the next couple of months. If so, the authors are most likely in possession of my stolen laptop.

Sheldon: (To a policeman) They took our TV, two laptops, four external hard-drives, our PS2, our PS3, our X-Box, our X-Box 360, our classic Nintendo, our Super Nintendo, our Nintendo 64 and our Wii.
Leonard: We like games.
Sheldon: Right, games. They took Halo 1, Halo 2, Halo 3, Call of Duty 1, Call of Duty 2, Call of Duty 3, Rock Band, Rock Band 2, Final Fantasy 1 thru 9, The Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Galaxy, Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics and Ms. Pacman.
Policeman: (Writing down) Assorted video games.