Amy: Who would have thought Fuzzy Fingers Fowler is best friends with a bully?
Penny: What? I was not a bully.
Bernadette: Kind of sounds like you were. And maybe a felon.
Amy: Shh. That's how you wind up in a cornfield.

Howard: Hey, we're here to support you, buddy.
Leonard: No, you're not. You're here to see if I get my underwear pulled over my head.
Howard: You wore underwear? You fool.

Jimmy Speckerman: Wow. Look at you. Little Leonard Hofstadter. I hear you're a big-time scientist now.
Sheldon: And there's the first zinger. Ouch.

Jimmy Speckerman: From what I read, it sounded like a big deal.
Sheldon: Oh, good Lord, are we going to stand here and listen to him tear Leonard apart like this?
Raj: Hey, I won a Newcomb medal, too.
Sheldon: My point.

Jimmy Speckerman: Okay. What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching, Annie.

Sheldon: The man Super Glued Hershey's Kisses to your nipples.
Raj: That's funny because those aren't the kind of kisses you want on your nipples.

Penny: (On the phone) Anyway, I'm really sorry I made fun of your stutter in high school.
Bernadette: You're doing great.
Penny: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, God, just finish the sentence. Okay, well, I'm sorry you feel that way. Bye. No one wants to hear my apologies.
Amy: I think your mistake is doing it over the phone. If they could look into your eyes, they'd melt.
Bernadette: Penny, it doesn't matter what you did in the past. You're a good person now.
Penny: That's easy for you to say. You weren't just called a b-b-b-b-bitch.

Amy: Perhaps you could assuage your guilt through altruism. ... Which word's tripping you up? Assuage or altruism?
Penny: Both.
Bernadette: You'll feel better by doing something nice for someone.
Penny: I actually knew that.
Amy: I never doubted you.

Bernadette: Every other week I serve at a soup kitchen downtown.
Penny: Ooh, I can't do that. If I stand over a steaming pot, my hair just goes boing! What else could I do?
Amy: There's Habitat for Humanity, building houses for the poor.
Penny: Okay, come on, I don't even have my own house, I'm going to build one for someone else?

Amy: How about donating some of your clothes?
Penny: Oh, my God, that's perfect. 'cause I have so many clothes I don't wear, and they're just taking up space, and I go shopping to buy more stuff and I have no place to put it. This will totally fix that.
Bernadette: What about helping people?
Penny: And helping people.

Leonard: Here's your cocoa.
Sheldon: Oh, half and half instead of whole milk?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Heated to precisely 183 degrees?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Seven little marshmallows, no more no less?
Leonard: You got one for good luck. (Knock on door) I'll get it.
Sheldon: One for good luck. Must be the kind of math they do at Princeton.

Howard: How about that? After all these years, your big bad high school bully finally apologizes.
Leonard: Yeah. It kind of rekindles your faith in the basic goodness of people.
Sheldon: You know what would be nice?
Raj: Whats that?
Sheldon: As a symbolic gesture to all the bullies who've tormented us for years, we open our home to Jimmy and once he's asleep, we kill him. ... I said it would be nice, I didn't say we should do it.

Penny: Ah, I feel just like Mother Teresa. Except for the virgin part. That ship sailed a long time ago.
Bernadette: I think Mother Teresa would have washed the clothes first.
Penny: Yeah, well, I bet her laundry room wasn't down five flights of stairs. You know, giving really is better than receiving. I used to think it was such a cliché, but it seems to be the… oh, look at these cute jeans someone just threw away.
Bernadette: Donated.
Penny: Yes, to a poor waitress who loves a boot cut.

Sheldon: The Dark Knight has your back. He's scared, but he has your back.

Penny: Wait, wait, wait, guys, just hang on.
Amy: What is it, the fuzz?
Penny: Look at us. What are we doing?
Amy: I was gleefully following you to a life of crime, looking forward to the day we might be cell mates. I don’t know about Bernadette.