Raj: Come on, Sheldon, Star Wars.
Howard: I'm pushing play. I mean it. If we don't start soon, George Lucas is going to change it again.

Sheldon: Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you.

Penny: Really? On top of everything, you're afraid of birds?
Sheldon: Its called ornithophobia and someday it will be recognized as a true disability, and the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building. Which is unfortunate because I have a fear of nets.

Leonard: Do you think I'm overdressed?
Sheldon: It depends on the activity. For a prostate exam? Yes. If you're playing Vegas, I'd add sequins.

Sheldon: Hummingbirds are the vampires of the flower world.

Raj: That is one tough birdie.

Amy: So I guess you have to have hollow bones to get some sugar around here.

Penny: Did you tell her her about your favorite asthma inhaler?

Leonard: You didn't see me telling Kevin that you thought Cold Wars were only fought in Winter

Penny: Then I'll return the favor and I won't tell...
Laura: Laura-
Penny: Laura that half the dirty movies you own are animated.

Leonard: Oh, hey. You work the lunch shift?
Penny: Yeah. I've got eight pounds of salmon that's about to go bad. Do you know how to cook it?
Leonard: Not really.
Penny: Damn it. Should have liberated the iffy chicken.

Penny: Well, I'm going to take myself out to a movie tonight. You want to go?
Leonard: Really? Do we do that?
Penny: What do you mean?
Leonard: You know, we haven't spent time alone together since we broke up.
Penny: Oh, it's not a date, Leonard. It's just a man and a woman hanging out, and not having sex at the end of the night.
Leonard: Sounds like most of my dates.

Sheldon: [inside the apartment] Oh, dear Lord, get away from me, you monster!
Penny: [in the hallway] What is that about?
Leonard: Well, he's smart and crazy enough, he may have actually created a monster.

Sheldon: Yes, hello. This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I'm at 2311 North Robles Avenue. Yeah, I'd like to report a dangerous wild animal. A blue jay. I'm sorry, this is Animal Control. I don't understand the laughter. No, the bird is not in my home. If he was in my home, I obviously would have called 911. Sir, I have no doubt that there are things that you're frightened of. Being stuck in a dead-end public service job? Or your wife stepping out on you because you're stuck in a dead-end public service job? Or spiders? Don't you think I tried making cat noises?

Penny: Oh, hey, if we hurry, we can make the new Jennifer Aniston movie.
Leonard: Oh, yeah, sure. There's also an amazing documentary about building a dam on river in South America.
Penny: Okay, but the Jennifer Aniston movie has Jennifer Aniston, and she's not building a dam.