Sheldon: Well, anyway, um, you may find this hard to believe, but I didn't have any friends growing up.
Professor Proton: No, I, I get that.

Sheldon: But, um, I did have you. And every day at four o'clock, you'd come to my house on Channel 68, and we'd do science together. If it hadn't been for you, well, who knows what would've become of me? You know? Instead of a world-class physicist, I could've wound up as a hobo. Or a surgeon.
Leonard: I bet there are important discoveries being made every day because you inspired millions of kids to pursue science. In a way, their discoveries are your discoveries.
Sheldon: Yeah, it's true. A generation of young scientists are standing on your shoulders.
Professor Proton: Well, thank, thank you, guys. That, that, that means a lot.

Sheldon: Met my childhood hero, now I get to ride in an ambulance. Boy, if we can get him to do that calendar, this'll be the best day ever.

Bernadette: Can't believe we lost her. What was I thinking? I'd be a terrible mom.
Howard: Well, maybe with the first one. But kids are like pancakes. The first one's always a throwaway.

Professor Proton: Look, guys, keep your money. I, I think, uh, I, I think I'm done.
Sheldon: What, well what's wrong? Is she upsetting you? Because I can make her go away.
Professor Proton: No, she, she's the only reason I've, I've stayed this long.

Penny: So, do you do a lot of appearances like this?
Professor Proton: It, it's hard to say. I'm, I'm still trying to figure out what, what th, what this is.
Leonard: We just wanted to hang out with you and maybe learn a little about your life.
Professor Proton: Well, there, there really isn't too much to tell. After the TV show was, was canceled, nobody in the scientific world would, uh, would take me seriously. So I was forced to do these, uh, children's parties to, to make a living.
Leonard: That's too bad. But still, working with kids, it must be rewarding.
Professor Proton: You, you get bit a lot.

Bernadette: Well, you were the one who was supposed to put her back in the stroller.
Howard: No, I wasn't. You were.
Bernadette: No, I wasn't.
Howard: Yes, you were!
Bernadette: Yeah, well, you throw like a girl.

Professor Proton: Okay, as, as I put the egg on top, and, and the flame goes out and, and, and the air pressure decreases in, in the flask, what do you think will happen?
Penny: I think I know.
Sheldon: It's gonna get sucked in. It's going to get sucked in.
Penny: Okay, I didn't know.
Sheldon: Yes!
Penny: See, I'm not a scientist like them.
Professor Proton: I, I figured that out.

Professor Proton: Let me see if, if I have this straight. You, you two are, are physicists, and you, and you want me to do a children's science show?
Sheldon: Yes. And if there's time, take 12 pictures with us in seasonal clothing.
Professor Proton: You know, I'm a real scientist. I, I have a PhD from Cornell University.
Sheldon: Yeah, that's great. Did you bring your puppet?
Professor Proton: No, no. I, I hate that puppet.
Sheldon: Oh, no. How could anybody hate (in an exaggerated Italian accent) Gino the Neutrino? It's nice, huh? I got him for 20 bucks on eBay. (Italian accent) Including the shipping!
Professor Proton: I'm, I'm awake, right? Th, this is happening?

Howard: (To Cinnamon) I feel for ya. I've got a psychotic mommy, too.

Bernadette: You know, there were a few moments today when I almost felt like we were a little family.
Howard: Really?
Bernadette: Yeah. I never thought of myself as a mom, but when the three of us were out there having fun, I felt like maybe someday we could do it.
Howard: Of course we can. Especially if our babys as calm and quiet as little Cinna Son of a bitch, she's gone.
Bernadette: Where'd she go?
Howard: I don't know. She didn't leave a note!

Sheldon: I'm thinking of wearing a tuxedo.
Leonard: That's not ridiculous. Good night.
Sheldon: Do you have cufflinks?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Ah, just as well. Where can you rent a tuxedo at three oclock in the morning?

Howard: She really tuckered herself out at the park, huh?
Bernadette: Yeah, you two were so cute playing together.
Howard: It was kind of fun throwing a ball and not having anyone laugh at me.
Bernadette: And you were sweet not to throw it too far so she didn't wear out her tiny legs.
Howard: Yeah, that's what I was doing.

Sheldon: Leonard, are you in bed?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Me, too.
Leonard: Great.
Sheldon: I can't sleep.
Leonard: Well, I can, so shut up.
Sheldon: Do you realize that in less than nine hours, Arthur Jeffries, aka Professor Proton, will be in our apartment?
Leonard: Sheldon, you know that if you stay up all night, you're gonna be sleepy tomorrow. And a sleepy Sheldon is a cranky Sheldon. And a cranky Sheldon is actually no different than a regular Sheldon. Good night.

Raj: It's very simple. For breakfast, she has an egg-white frittata. Feel free to give her a choice of home fries or an English muffin, but not both. We're watching our weight. Uh, for dinner, something simple, a veal chop, some scampi, whatever you like.
Howard: Classy dog.
Raj: Yes. Also, don't forget to close the toilet or she'll drink out of it.