Sheldon: Would you like to hear a classic Sheldon Cooper factoid?
Leonard: What do you think?
Sheldon: Great. I've been doing some reading about vehicular safety. Did you know that the highest number of drowning accidents happen on or around boats?
Leonard: Interesting that you would bring that up when I might go work on a boat.
Sheldon: Well, that's the thing about factoids. They're interesting.

Leonard: Really, you guys do not need to throw me a going-away party.
Howard: Are you kidding me? How often can you say bon voyage to somebody when they're actually going on a voyage?

Leonard: I'll be on a ship in the North Sea.
Penny: On a ship? Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh, sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.

Howard: Leonard, I may have gotten you a job.
Leonard: I have a job.
Sheldon: Yes, he does. He caters to my every whim.

Leonard: Anyway, you guys really don't need to make a big deal.
Sheldon: Leonard, you're being selfish. We need to give you a proper send-off so we'll have closure when you die at sea and crabs eat your face.
Penny: Sheldon, sweetie, shut up.

Sheldon: Penny, we’re in the red zone. The white zone is for loading and unloading. We’re breaking the law.

Amy: Excuse me, but I'm a neurobiologist. I think I'm a little more qualified to understand what's not working in your girlfriend's brain.

Leonard: Sheldon's nervous about me leaving. Just keep an eye on him while I'm gone.
Penny: Oh, I don't know. Remember what happened when I took care of your goldfish?
Leonard: Well, flush Sheldon down the toilet and get me a new one.

Sheldon: Well, now, but do you think that's a good idea? You know Star Trek. Should a guy with no name and a red shirt really go on an expedition?
Raj: Hey, don't discourage him. This is a fantastic opportunity.
Sheldon: No one asked you, Uhura.

Penny: Oh, sweetie, if you're gonna screw things up, it's gonna be while you're here, not while you're away. No. I mean, look, you have to go. It sounds like an amazing opportunity. And I'm just basing that on how much I didn't understand what you said about it.

Sheldon: Don't worry, officer. They just love each other. We're not smuggling drugs.

Sheldon: It did not kill me when you went to space. Monkeys went to space.

Sheldon: Leonard, you're being selfish. We need to give you a proper send-off so we'll have closure when you die at sea and crabs eat your face.

Penny: Oh gosh. Sheldon, the genius, is jealous of Leonard.
Sheldon: I'm not jealous. I'm just very unhappy that good things are happening for him and not happening for me.

Raj: I'm unlovable.
Penny: It's just the booze talking.
Raj: I haven't had a drink since last night.
Penny: You're talking to me!
Raj: I am! Now I'm crying for a whole different reason.
Penny: Me too.