Howard: I think he's taking this Professor Proton thing pretty hard.
Raj: Should we try to console him?
Howard: Or should we respect his privacy in this moment of grief?
Raj: By staying here and watching the movie?
Howard: That's what good friends would do!

Penny: You know Klingon.
Leonard: That's true.
Penny: No, I meant that as a regret.

Amy: Did you watch Professor Proton when you were a kid?
Bernadette: No. My dad controlled the TV, so unless someone was a Texas Ranger, Jake or the Fat Man, we didn't see it.

Amy: I guess it must have been back when I was in the Girl Sprouts.
Bernadette: Girl Sprouts?
Amy: My mom made it up as an alternative to the Girl Scouts. She didn't want me selling cookies on some street corner like a whore.

Raj: Okay. So in the last twenty minutes we've seen a crazy woman kissing a foetus in a jar. We've seen a guy cut in half and sown to a fish.
Howard: And the brutal dismemberment of a rotisserie chicken by my mother.

Psychic: He should give himself to this relationship. Once he does, all his other pursuits will come into focus.
Penny: Sheldon, you hear that? Amy is the key to your happiness.
Psychic: Exactly. Personally and professionally. Everything will fall into place once you commit to her.

Penny: Since you're paying for dinner, I'll let that slide.
Sheldon: Have you ever paid for a meal?
Penny: Not with money.

Sheldon: Got it. We order calzones, cut them open and eat them like pizza. ... All right, all right. I'll shake the brain bush one more time and see what falls out.

Penny: Why would they lie to us?
Sheldon: That's a good question.
*Sheldon knocks three times on the restaurant window* Amy and Bernadette! [x3]
Sheldon: Why did you lie to us?

Leonard: Well, Penny can be very persuasive. She's gotten me to do a lot of things I wouldn't normally do.
Amy: Because she has sex with you.
Leonard: Yeah, she does.

Penny: I don't understand why you're not upset with Amy.
Sheldon: I am. So much so that I'm going to bring her here for dinner on our next date night.

Leonard: How about the Asian Fusion place?
Sheldon: Fusion and Asians? I'm trying not to think about science.

Sheldon: You know what this is? And I reserve this word for those instances when it's truly reserved. This is malarkey.

Leonard: It took him a long time to get comfortable around me, too.
Amy: Really? What did you do?
Leonard: Something terrible in a former life? I don't know.

Penny: Read.
Sheldon: *Reading fortune cookie* "Your warm and fun-loving nature delights those around you."
Penny: Nope, try again.