Sheldon: Here comes the Embarrassment Express. It stops at Fraudville, Wonder-Blunder-Berg and Kansas City, because it's a hub.

Amy: *knocks* Sheldon, can I come in?
Sheldon: Do you have cookies?
Amy: No.
Sheldon: Good, because I don't deserve cookies. Come in.

Sheldon: Right now I'm having a rough time because there's three people in my room and it's starting to feel like a discotheque.

Amy: Sheldon, you said you were unhappy getting attention for something you wish you never did.
Wil Wheaton: Yeah, I know a little something about that.
Sheldon: Nonsense, Wil. Your endless tweets are not that bad.
Wil Wheaton: I remember why it's been a while.

Wil Wheaton: Sheldon, I was actually talking about when I was a kid on Star Trek.
Sheldon: How could you not like getting attention for playing Wesley Crusher? You were wonderful. A know-it all boy genius with an eidetic memory. Who couldn't relate to that?

Wil Wheaton: Well not everybody felt that way. A lot of people really hated the character and some of them hated me because of it. I would do interviews and people would be mean to me.
Sheldon: That just happened to me. Next time you're stuck for a tweet, feel free to say what a jerk Ira Flatow is.

Amy: Sheldon, the point is Wil learned to embrace that part of his life and moved on to bigger and better things.
Wil Wheaton: Yeah, I'm an author now, I do public speaking and I have my own web series about board games.
Amy: (To Wil) We're trying to cheer up him.

Raj: Sit, you look like you've had a long day.
Howard: Naw, she always looks like that. ... Because she married an idiot.

Raj: Hey, when you got home today and complained about feeling sick from eating too many jelly beans, did I tell you how to fix it? No. I said "Aww, that must hurt." and I rubbed your belly.
Howard: I thought of you (Bernadette), the whole time.

Raj: There's also a time to stop eating so many jelly beans. And it's when you're ten!

Sheldon: *On the phone with President Siebert* For your information, I have nine friends. Ten if we include you. ... Nine it is.
Sheldon: It's ten. I'll count Wolowitz.

Penny: It's like if you're dating someone you're not that into and then they break up with you. Then you want them more than ever.
Sheldon: I have no idea what she's talking about, but we're ganging up on you so I agree.

Bernadette: Aww, Raj did the dishes.
Howard: How do you know I didn't do them?
Bernadette: Because once when all the knives were dirty, you cut a bagel with your keys.

Barry Kripke: There he is! It's my favorite superhero, The Retractor.

Barry Kripke: Cooper, maybe physics just isn't your thing. Have you ever considered a career in retail? Then you could take things back for a living.