Howard: He has so little self respect and is so desperate for the smallest crumb of affection, she could literally sleep with his own father in his own bed and post the video to YouTube, and he'd still buy her flowers and ask her to be his bride.
Raj: He's right. But in my defense, if we could survive that, we could survive anything.

Raj: Can I tell her she looks nice?
Bernadette: Sure.
Raj: Can I tell her I miss her?
Bernadette: Maybe, if she asks.
Raj: Can I show her an oil painting I made of us surrounded by our children and grand-children.
Bernadette: I'd save that for the second date.

Leonard: Look at me! *Pulls up his sweater to reveal a rash*
Penny: Oh my god. Is that sweater made of bees?

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Lucy: I'm kinda seeing someone.
Raj: I think I know the answer to this, but just to be clear. It's not me, right?

Raj: This is all your fault! I should have listened to MunMun, because I've been playing with a cobra and her name is Penny! Why are you so cruel? Do you enjoy my pain?
Penny: There's a girl at the cheesecake factory I can set you up with.
Raj: I LOVE YOU PENNY!

Sheldon: (To Amy) Do you have any idea what it's like to wait for years and never know if you're finally going to get satisfaction?

Amy: I've never seen him (Sheldon) this happy before.
Leonard: That's because you've never seen him on "Restock the Medicine Cabinet" day.

Sheldon: Look, a new topical antihistamine with lidocaine. Wow! I can't wait 'til I get a rash.

Leonard: Ooh, Gasex has a new ultra-strength. I guess they really do read their mail.

Sheldon: Hey, isn't that Professor Proton?
Leonard: Oh, yeah.
Sheldon: Look at him just standing in line, like he wasn't moderately famous thirty years ago.
Sheldon: Let's go say hello.
Leonard: Oh, maybe we shouldn't bother him.
Sheldon: I'm not going to bother him. I'm going to talk to him.
Leonard: He thinks there's a difference.

Sheldon: Arthur! Arthur, it's me, Sheldon Cooper.
Professor Proton: Trust me, I remember.
Sheldon: This is television legend, Arthur Jeffries. His science show inspired millions of children.
Professor Proton: Hold on, you have a girlfriend?
Amy: Yes, and I've heard so much about you. Hey look, we're wearing the orthopaedic shoes. I can't believe I dress like a celebrity.
Professor Proton: Okay, I get it now.

Leonard: Dr. Jeffries, hello again. Leonard Hofstadter.
Professor Proton: Oh, right. I remember your girlfriend. *Looking around* Is she here?

Sheldon: So what prescription are you getting filled?
Leonard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: No wait, I want to guess. Don't tell me.
Professor Proton: I wasn't going to tell you.

Sheldon: No, wait. I'm really good at this. Give me a hint. Does it involve difficulty initiating a stream of anything?
Professor Proton: Well, given my age, that's more than just a lucky guess.