Penny: I've never been to New Jersey before.
Leonard: It gets a bad rap from shows like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives.
Penny: So it's not really like that?
Leonard: No, it's like that.

Amy: I think it's really nice that you're sharing this experience with Penny.
Leonard: I thought it'd be fun to show her my old stomping grounds. I even know the exact spot where they used to stomp me.

Dr. Koothrappali: No, my mind is made up. Starting now, you're on your own.
Raj: But, Daddy, I miss my family so much, and with you and Mummy getting a divorce, I feel sad and empty. Buying a little toy every now and then helps me fill that void. So while I can't hug you every day, flying that helicopter really makes--
Dr. Koothrappali: I'm cutting you off.
Raj: Just to be clear, financially or mid-sentence?

Leonard: Well, I'm excited to show you around.
Penny: You think we'll have time to visit your mom over there?
Leonard: Yes. We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press, but I'm not doing that either.

Penny: Sweetie, you know you're supposed to wear clothes under a graduation gown?
Leonard: A. Surprised you know that. B. I wanted to look like a sexy graduate for you.

Howard: Just flip the switch until the lights on the drone change to solid yellow.
Sheldon: All right, that seems simple enough. Initiating calibration sequence. *flips switch rapidly* One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. *lights on drone turn solid yellow* Well, I suppose ten is technically "at least ten." But they're still getting at least one angry letter.

Bernadette: Ready to call tech support?
Howard: Give me the number. Probably wind up talking to some foreign guy who's reading from the same manual I have.
*Raj's phone rings. Sheldon, Howard, and Bernadette stare at him in shock*
Raj: It's my father, you jerks.

Howard: Step one, rapidly flip the calibration switch from the fully up to the fully down positions for at least ten times.
Sheldon: It actually says "at least"?
Howard: Yeah.
Sheldon: Why would they say "at least"? Is it 10 toggles? Is it 100 toggles? Is it 1,000 toggles? 10,000 toggles? 100,000 toggles?
Howard: Sheldon!
Sheldon: You see where I'm going with this.

Sheldon: Sorry. Ah, maybe it's for the best. I hear locomotive smoke is the second leading cause of death among train aficionados.
Raj: What's the first one?
Howard: Suicide.
Sheldon: Wrong. Obesity.

Bernadette: Well, now you get to go back as a successful scientist.
Amy: With a beautiful girl on your arm.
Sheldon: And a pointy hat sticking out of your eyeball.

Howard: All right. All systems go. In five...
Boys: ...four, three, two, one.
*An electrical crackle is heard and smoke comes out of the drone*
Sheldon: That's what my train used to do.

Penny: Oh, hello. Hi. I didn't know he was going to point it at me, so don't do drugs and stay in school.
Leonard: They're graduating.
Penny: Okay, bye!

Dr. Koothrappali: I'm tired of indulging your foolish lifestyle. It's time you learned responsibility. And the only way to teach you that is to cut off your allowance.
Raj: No, Daddy, no! There are lots of other ways to teach me responsibility. I know, you can give me an egg and make me take care of it for a week.

Mrs. Koothrappali: Rajesh, is your father seeing someone?
Raj: All I know, Mummy, is that he's a single wealthy doctor, and now, for some reason, there's no money for your little boy.

Raj: Hello, Daddy.
Dr. Koothrappali: What did you say to your mother?
Raj: Nothing. I was just calling to check in, make sure she's doing okay.
Dr. Koothrappali: Well, after talking to you, she seems to think I'm some sort of playboy.
Raj: Really? I don't know where she'd get an idea like that.