Bernadette: She's just being nice.
Howard: Well, I'm her son, how come she doesn't send someone to check on me if I'm lonely.
Bernadette: Because you have a wife!
Howard: Yeah, well, sometimes you work late.

Howard: That would be great. I'd love for things between me and mom to get back to normal.
Bernadette: Well, normal's a strong word, but sure.

Penny: What's up?
Sheldon: I'm mad at Amy.
Penny: Did you she leave pit stains in your favorite crop top, too?

Penny: Besides, aren't you the one who says there's nothing more important than the advancement of science?
Sheldon: No, I said there's nothing more important than me advancing science.

Sheldon: Let it go? I have heard that my whole life. Every time something upsets me, someone says let it go. Like it's my fault and it's not okay to feel the way I feel.

Sheldon: Is that all you have? Shop-worn tidbits like "talk to her" and "let it go"? Gee, Penny, life's given me lemons, what should I do?
Penny: Well, you could shove them somewhere.

Leonard: The place really looks great.
Raj: Yeah, you should have burnt it down years ago.
Stuart: I keep telling you, I didn't burn it down.
Leonard: We know. We know. Because burning something down for the insurance money is a crime. *wink*

Howard: Why don't you just clean out the whole room? Take the string-art clown I made her in third grade. And the ribbon I got in swim class for putting my face in the water.

Stuart: Some son! Looks like you spent ten minutes on that clown art.
Howard: Well, maybe I should have gone to a fancy art school like you, then I could run a failed comic shop and mooch off some guy's mother.

Leonard: Why don't we go get the food for the party?
Stuart: Thank you.
Raj: Smart. Looks like we're being helpful.
Leonard: When really we're just exiting an uncomfortable situation. *fist bumps with Raj*

Penny: Just think about something else.
Sheldon: Can I think about the spiny anteater?
Penny: Sure.
Sheldon: The spiny anteater never went behind my back and worked with Barry Kripke.
That didn't help at all.

Amy: Penny, I really want to eat this banana, but it's stuck inside this bamboo puzzle box.

Penny: I can't believe you were testing me against a chimp.
Sheldon: Excuse me, Amy was testing you. I was rooting for you. Good job on that banana box, by the way.

Bernadette: It's just furniture.
Howard: It's my mom's furniture. It belongs in the house I grew up in, next to that pile of TV Guides and in full view of what, for a ten-year-old, was a quality piece of string-art!

Howard: That is a good point. But I didn't marry you for good points. I married you to blindly support me no matter how ridiculous I'm being.
Bernadette: This is why I had to rewrite our wedding vows.