Leonard: We spent $200 on six minutes of fun.
Raj: It's like when we bought that remote-controlled helicopter and it just flew away.

Penny: If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?
Sheldon: So it would be today? Huh. Well, I suppose there's something satisfying about dying on my birthday.
Penny: Today's your birthday?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: Well that's always been a secret. Not even Amy knows.
Sheldon: Well, I don't enjoy presents. And the thought of people jumping out and yelling surprise fills me with more dread than the words "George Lucas Director's Cut.

Penny: That's so funny. I never would have pegged you for a Pisces.
Sheldon: You're making it difficult to love you right now.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Penny: This is kind of creepy.
Sheldon: We're not supposed to talk during this part.
Penny: Sorry.
Sheldon: This is kind of creepy.

Penny: Do you want to stop? I know you have trouble with eye contact.
Sheldon: Well, you have a brown fleck in your right iris that looks like a Formula 1 race car, so I'm just concentrating on that. Plus it's easier around people I'm comfortable with.
Penny: Oh, sweetie, I'm comfortable around you, too.
Sheldon: Of course you are. I'm warm and soothing. I'm like a human bowl of tomato soup.

Penny: I meant more like a little brother.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, I suppose I do think of you like a sister. And sometimes a mother.
Penny: It's getting creepy again.

Penny: Just thinking about the day I met you and Leonard.
Sheldon: It was a Monday afternoon. You joined us for Indian food.
Penny: Can you believe it's been eight years?
Sheldon: And you're still eating our food.

Sheldon: I think it's safe to say you're not in love with me and I'm not in love with you. And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences.

Sheldon: Given our new found intimacy, I'd say we have some hard choices to make.
Penny: Like what?
Sheldon: Gary Con. Do we fly or drive? Do we wear costumes? And if so, who gets to be Gary?

Sheldon: I've invented a science joke. Would you like to hear it?
Amy: Sure.
Sheldon: How many Edisons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Amy: How many?
Sheldon: Who cares? He stole the idea and doesn't deserve his own joke.

Amy: That's fascinating. I can't wait to read it.
Sheldon: Oh, me as well. Please email it to [email protected] Why .biz? Because I just gave you the business. And also bazinga.com was taken.

Sheldon: When I was doing string theory and hit a dead end, why didn't you try to help me?
Amy: I did. You said the only math biologists know is if you have three frogs and one jumps away, that leaves two frogs.
Sheldon: That's pretty funny. That does sound like me.

Sheldon: But that doesn't mean that you should be standing on street corners, handing out your math to whatever guy comes along.

Sheldon: You know Barry and I have a professional rivalry. You heard him, he told me to suck eggs. If we were friends, he would have suggested I suck something more pleasant.

Why are you laughing? Did you learn something?