Sheldon: As a Texas gentleman, I'm inclined to say ladies first. Although, I'm concerned that level of politeness and charm may make you fall in love with me before the test even begins.

Sheldon: As much as I'd love to meet Euclid, inventor of the geometric proof, he probably wore sandals and I can not look at toes during dinner.

Sheldon: Oh, I know, the person I'd most like to have dinner with is myself.
Penny: You sure that's your choice, because I've had that dinner.
Sheldon: Well, I haven't. And although they say never meet your heroes, I just don't see how I could disappoint.

Sheldon: Who would you choose?
Penny: Robert Downey, Jr.
Sheldon: Oh. I didn't think of Iron Man. You know, maybe after myself and I have dinner, we could meet you two for dessert.

Emily: There's one downtown where they trap you in a room with a zombie.
Raj: Oh, so kinda like what's happening with Penny right now.

Sheldon: What would constitute a perfect day for you?
Penny: Well, I'd probably sleep in. Do a little yoga. Then lie on the beach while cute cabana boys brought me drinks, and probably get a massage. Then probably cap off the night with some dancing.
Sheldon: That's it?
Penny: Yeah, why?
Sheldon: You didn't mention Leonard.
Penny: He's there.
Sheldon: I don't think so. Leonard can't stand yoga, the beach, massages or dancing.
Penny: Yeah, well, he brought a book.

Penny: What's yours?
Sheldon: I wake up. I enjoy some french toast with butter and syrup. Then a wormhole opens and whisks me millions of years into the future, where my towering intellect is used to save the last remnants of mankind from a predatory alien race.
Penny: Interesting you didn't mention Amy.
Sheldon: Who do you think made the french toast and syrup?

Leonard: Ladies,
Emily: Are you being polite or scared?
Leonard: Yep.

Raj: Okay, let's hope one of the clues is written on a pair of clean underwear.

Howard: Your entire job is to find lost luggage and you've narrowed down the location of my mother to the planet Earth?

Sheldon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Penny: Well, not to steal from the bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.

Sheldon: You may not be as academically inclined as are we. Yes, that's how you say it. But you possess an intelligence I envy, which leads me to my answer. I would choose the ability to read people's minds.

Penny: Well, I can't read people's minds. Actually, that's not true, I can read men's minds, but only because it's usually the one thing.
Sheldon: When are we going to get robot eyes.
Penny: You're all alike.

Penny: Wow, I just felt this wave of emotion for you.
Sheldon: You sure it's not too much bible juice?
Penny: And the wave is gone.

Bernadette: You better find my husband's mother, 'cause one way or another we're walking out of this airport with a dead woman.