Leonard: "Upon review, I've changed my mind about the Cooper-Hofstadter hypothesis that space-time is like a super-fluid. In fact, it's inspired me to come up with my own theory. Maybe space-time is like two clowns with their heads in a bucket. Much like Cooper and Hofstadter."

Sheldon: Can I respond now?
Leonard: Do it.
Sheldon: You mess with the bull, you get the horns. I'm about to show this guy just how horny I can be.
Leonard: Somebody else do it.

Penny: Well, I've been poking around the internet and I think I've found something we'll enjoy watching even more.
Amy: What is it?
Penny: Oh, just a video of Bernadette in a beauty pageant.
Bernadette: Okay, I learned my lesson. Making fun of people is wrong.
Amy: I haven't learned my lesson, play it. Play it.

Penny: You look like a talking cupcake.

Bernadette: (In pageant video) And you should pick me for Miss. California Quiznos 1999, because I want to tell you what I want, what I really really want. I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna, really, really, be the California Quiznos 1999.

Sheldon: "My good sir. We are neither crackpots, nor wannabes. In fact, we are experts in our fields. And while you hide behind your anonymity, we stand behind our paper. And later tonight, your mother."
Leonard: You don't think that's too rough?
Sheldon: We're just standing behind her. It's not like we're gonna say "Boo!" and scare her.

Amy: Why? What did I do?
Bernadette: I'm sorry. I had to get the spotlight off me, and tearing down other women is part of my pageant training.

Amy: It's not about me and Sheldon. It's about a young woman in the 1800s named Amelia, and the time-traveling physicist named Cooper she falls in love with.

Penny: "It was just past dawn on the prairie and, like every morning, Amelia prepared to do her chores. Except something about this morning felt different."
Bernadette: Why? Why did it feel different?
Penny: "Maybe it was the first whisper of winter in the air. Or maybe it was the unconscious, handsome man with porcelain skin and curious clothing she was about to discover lying in the field. A man who would open her mind to new possibilities and her body to new feelings."

Amy: You know there was a time when I was alone and had no friends. I'm starting to miss that.

Leonard: Do you really want him to write back?
Sheldon: I do. And no matter how he responds, I'm going to destroy him with a picture of a bored cat saying "Oh, really?"
Leonard: Mee-wow.

Howard: What are you doing?
Raj: I've created some other user accounts so I can post positive comments about their paper.
Howard: "This wee little bairn of a theory nearly blew my kilt off."
Raj: No, you have to read it like Dr. Angus McDougall of the University of Edinburgh would.
"This wee little bairn of a theory nearly blew my kilt off."

Sheldon: He wrote back! "Cooper and Hofstadter resorting to juvenile attempts at humor is proof they have nothing to back up their ridiculous paper. It should come as no surprise given they work at Cal-Tech, essentially a technical school where even the physicists are basically engineers".
Oh, engineers. Do you know how insulting that is?
Howard: Yes.

Raj: All the other comments said really nice things. Focus on those.
Howard: Yeah. Dr. Dimitri Plankovic of Moscow University said "This paper great. I love it more than vodka."
Raj: See, better with the accent.

Penny: "'Time travel? I don't understand', said Amelia. Cooper stared at her, 'Which word don't you understand? Time or travel."
Bernadette: Wow. Even in your fantasy, Sheldon's kind of exhausting.
Amy: He's like that in the beginning so she can change him. It's called good writing. And wishful thinking.