Amy: You know there was a time when I was alone and had no friends. I'm starting to miss that.

Leonard: "Upon review, I've changed my mind about the Cooper-Hofstadter hypothesis that space-time is like a super-fluid. In fact, it's inspired me to come up with my own theory. Maybe space-time is like two clowns with their heads in a bucket. Much like Cooper and Hofstadter."

Sheldon: Can I respond now?
Leonard: Do it.
Sheldon: You mess with the bull, you get the horns. I'm about to show this guy just how horny I can be.
Leonard: Somebody else do it.

Penny: Well, I've been poking around the internet and I think I've found something we'll enjoy watching even more.
Amy: What is it?
Penny: Oh, just a video of Bernadette in a beauty pageant.
Bernadette: Okay, I learned my lesson. Making fun of people is wrong.
Amy: I haven't learned my lesson, play it. Play it.

Penny: You look like a talking cupcake.

Bernadette: (In pageant video) And you should pick me for Miss. California Quiznos 1999, because I want to tell you what I want, what I really really want. I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna, really, really, be the California Quiznos 1999.

Bernadette: Search for it.
Penny: What? No. Why?
Bernadette: Because it would be fun to watch.
Penny: It would be humiliating.
Bernadette: Well now we have two reasons.

Leonard: Sheldon, this is super-fluid helium. Put this in your mouth, your tongue will freeze and fall off.
Sheldon: Does it smell like blueberries?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Then we're probably okay.

Leonard: One calls it insightful and innovative. We're insightful and innovative.
Sheldon: Nice to meet you, Mr. Insightful.
Leonard: Ah, the pleasure is mine, Mr. Innovative.

Howard: How are you today, Mr. Can You Believe These Jackasses?
Raj: Just dandy, Mr. I Wish I Was Better At Improv.

Sheldon: Look, I am simply going to defend our work, scientist to scientist. And, failing that, suggest that his mother enjoys a string of both human and non-human lovers.

Leonard: You wrote a paper on my idea?
Sheldon: I wrote a paper on our idea.
Leonard: When did my idea become our idea?
Sheldon: When I mixed it with Sheldony goodness and cooked it in the Easy Bake oven of my mind.

Leonard: This is good. Our idea is really good.
Sheldon: Well, the light bulb in this oven is ridiculously bright.

Sheldon: My name is right on there with yours. That is a sure fire mark of quality. That might as well say "Directed by Joss Whedon".

Leonard: Is your tongue blue?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.