Dr. Lorvis: I was hoping to impress her by tracking her down on the Internet and then showing up announced at her door.
Sheldon: Making the extra effort. Good for you.

Dr. Lorvis: I met her at my office. She winked at me. And I came hoping to initiate a romantic relationship.
Leonard: I'm pretty sure she didn't wink at you.
Dr. Lorvis: Oh, she did. Seductively, like this. And then she touched my arm for two Mississippis.

Sheldon: Hold on, Dr. Leonard, where are your social skills? This man is clearly upset. We should invite him in for a hot beverage.
Leonard: He tried to score with Penny.
Sheldon: So have these two and they're having dinner with us.

Amy: I simply pointed out that they would never consider doing an article ranking male scientists on their sexuality. Let alone showing them in various stages of undress.
Bernadette: Because no one wants to see Neil deGrasse Tyson in a wet t-shirt bent over the hood of a Porsche.

Bernadette: Please don't go. Up until my vicious attack, you were the one in the wrong.

Bernadette: So what are you working on these days?
Amy: I'm studying one-celled organisms to try and find the neurochemicals that lead to the feeling of shame.
Bernadette: What would a one-celled organism have to feel ashamed about?
Penny: Same as all of us. Getting out of a car without underwear.

Penny: You know, maybe if fashion magazines had female scientists in them, I would have become a theoretical physicist. Stop smirking at each other!

Sheldon: Delivery men are the unsung heroes of our nation's commerce. It's because of people like you that people like me can limit our human contact. I'd shake your hand but, well, you know.

Dr. Lorvis: I'm not a delivery man. I'm a doctor. Although I do often deliver alarming medical results to my patients.
Sheldon: That's humorous.
Dr. Lorvis: All right.

Sheldon: I bet you leave your patients in stitches. *Silence* That was also humorous.
Dr. Lorvis: All right.

Raj: You call yourself a friend? I was trying to help you. And at the first sign of trouble you ran away, leaving me to fend off a family of rats! You're a completely selfish human being and a physical & moral coward.
Sheldon: His statements of the obvious continue to annoy.

Howard: "Do the dishes", there's a star right there.
Bernadette: That was a pity star. Putting water in the roasting pan and putting it in the sink is not doing the dishes.
Howard: That pan had to soak and you know it!

Bernadette: Well don't come crying to me when you don't get your allowance.
Howard: It's not an allowance. It's a stipend! And we said we weren't going to call it an allowance in front of my friends.

Sheldon: We'll take some funions.
Amy: Anything else?
Sheldon: Some York Peppermint Patties, a couple of Dr. Peppers, and run to Best Buy and see if they have a portable DVD player and Season 1 of a show called Hannah Montana.
Raj: Have her get Season 2. In Season 1 it was still finding itself.

Penny: If I do well in sales, I could end up making a lot more money than you.
Leonard: Not a problem. I grew up with a mother who emasculated my father financially and in every other aspect of his life, so really it's what I think love looks like.