Raj: Oh. You know what? I'm gonna let them know that I'm here with you and that they're busted.
Penny: No. You know what? Don't, don't. Let's let them think they're getting away with it.
Bernadette: Yeah, let's see how deep a hole they can dig for themselves.
Penny: Mmm-hmm.
Raj: Interesting. I mean, it's not testicles on a cryostat, but I like it.

Bernadette: Can we really help?
Howard: While we finish soldering these boards, it'd be great if you guys could wrap these pipe fittings with Teflon tape.
Leonard: I'll show you how to do one.
Penny: Hey, wouldn't it be funny if after all your years of hard work, I'm the one who makes a scientific breakthrough? (To Bernadette) He doesn't think that's funny.

Amy: Sheldon, why don't you get a new computer? You know that one's out-of-date.
Sheldon: Oh, but I like this computer.
Amy: The video is failing, and the sound is cutting out.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I didn't get that.
Amy: The video is failing, and the sound is cutting out.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, one more time. The sound is cutting out. (Amy holds up a sign) I can't read that. The video is failing.
Amy: Get a new computer.
Sheldon: What?
Amy: Get a new computer.
Sheldon: What? (Answering phone) Hello?
Amy: Get a new computer!

Bernadette: Okay. Okay, how about this? They don't know you're here with us, so you hide in the closet. When they show up, we'll hear whatever their dumb story is about where they were, we'll pretend to believe them and just when they think they got away with it, you jump out.
Penny: Yeah, that's pretty good.
Raj: I love it, I'll be all like, "Busted!", and they'll be like, "What?", and then we'll all be like, "Oh, yeah!" Yeah, I get it. I wouldn't make out with me, either.

Amy: Okay, why do you have a bin of pine cones?
Sheldon: I used to collect them as a child. The spiral of scales open in the Fibonacci sequence. A fact that, when you tell your brother, gets a golf ball thrown at your head.

Penny: How can you call yourself a scientist and run out of solder?
Leonard: Well, funny story. So, we have plenty of the 60/40 tin-to-lead ratio solder, but the spools look a lot like the 63/37 tin-to-lead.
Penny: Honey, honey, honey, let me stop you. That is, is not a funny story.

Amy: Look, I'm sorry for your loss, but I think I have something that might make you feel better. I got you a new computer.
Sheldon: How could you do that?
Amy: Do what?
Sheldon: Choosing a new laptop is an incredibly personal ritual. You have taken away weeks of agonizing thought, tedious research, sleepless nights filled with indecision. Haven't I lost enough today?

Leonard: Hey.
Howard: Hi.
Penny: Hey, what's this?
Leonard: Listen, we did a stupid thing.
Howard: We went to a movie and lied about it, but we feel bad and want to make it up to you.
Leonard: So, these are for you, and if you're not too mad, we'd love to take you guys to dinner.
Howard: Yeah. Anywhere you want.
Bernadette: Oh. Well, thank you for being honest.
Penny: Yeah. You know, I want to be upset, but we did kind of have fun working on the prototype.

Bernadette: Since when do you work on weekends?
Raj: I'm an astrophysicist. The stars don't take a day off.
Penny: You were home alone and had no one to play with?
Raj: Well, the cleaning lady was there, but she doesn't like me.

Amy: So, why do you feel you need to save these things?
Sheldon: I'd like to say it's nostalgia, but every time I think of throwing anything away, my ears start to ring, and I get butterflies in my stomach. And then it feels like the butterflies get eaten by rats, and then the, the rats get eaten by...
Amy: Okay. I get it. I get it.
Sheldon: It ends with dinosaurs. I'm sorry if you think less of me.
Amy: I don't.
Sheldon: Really? 'Cause every time I come in here, I think less of me.
Amy: Why?
Sheldon: Because I'm a fraud. No, I purport to be a man of the mind. I've been such a, a vocal champion of the singularity. But how can I leave my body behind and become one with the Internet when I've never even thrown a toothbrush away?

Cinema Worker: Excuse me. You guys interested in a free screening of an upcoming movie?
Leonard: Oh. Sorry, we can't.
Howard: Well, hang on. What movie is it?
Cinema Worker: Oh, I can't tell you. But it does star Will Smith.
Howard: Wait. I bet it's Suicide Squad. Let's check it out.
Leonard: What about the girls?
Howard: Penny just said they're having fun. Honestly, you want to wrap tape around a bunch of pipe fittings all afternoon?
Leonard: Okay, we'll take 'em. But, I swear, if it's Will Smith in Shark Tale 2, it better be at least as good as the original.

Penny: All right, how are we gonna play this when they return?
Raj: I know. You guys should totally be making out with me.
Penny: Sweetie, I know you think jokes like that are funny, but do you really think you could handle making out with both of us? (Penny gets close to Raj)
Raj: No, ma'am.

Amy: So, no one else knows about this?
Sheldon: Only you.
Amy: Thank you for trusting me.
Sheldon: What good is having a girlfriend if you can't unload your psychological sewage on her?
Amy: That's me, your emotional outhouse.

Leonard: What are we gonna tell the girls?
Howard: It's not a problem.
Leonard: I mean without lying.
Howard: And now you've made it a problem.

Penny: Okay, here they come.
Bernadette: Go hide.
Raj: Oh, man, when I come out of the closet, I'm gonna nail those guys! Yeah, I heard it. Shut up.