Mary Cooper: It was so nice of Leonard and Penny to invite me.
Sheldon: Well, actually, I-
Amy: It sure was.

Amy: Sheldon, I'm not ready to have a baby.
Sheldon: Oh, yes, you are! I track your cycle. For the next 36 hours you're as fertile as a manure-covered wheat field.
Amy: Wow. I can actually feel the egg crawling its way back up.

Sheldon: Come along, Amy. I know when I'm not wanted.
Amy: I don't think you do, but alright.

Penny: Oh, I'll go. I like a party.
Amy: Well, to be honest, it's not like a "party" party. It's more like a gathering where scientists of different disciplines get together to share their work and keep current on what's going on in other fields. I don't know why I called it a party, sorry.

Amy: Sheldon, maybe living together is a bad idea.
Sheldon: But what kind of scientists would we be, drawing a conclusion after only 12 hours of data?
Amy: The kind who almost put a pillow over your face last night.

Amy: It's just so much easier to give him what he wants.
Leonard: Oh, true, but think of how much you've accomplished. Who got him to stop Purelling his pocket change?
Amy: Me.
Leonard: And who got him to put things other than gloves in the glove compartment?
Amy: Me. It was mittens.
Leonard: Mm. And who got him to try a turkey dog?
Amy: That was actually Koothrappali, but I did let him spit it out in my hand.

Penny: But is Sheldon really believing all this crap?
Amy: Well, he started to question it, but then I fake sneezed on him and he ran to take a shower.

Sheldon: Oh, my goodness! I see quivering black lines. Those must be neurons. Oh, they're so thick and beautiful.
Amy: Those are your eyelashes. Move!

Amy: Hey, you're talking about the person I love and have been avoiding for the past three hours.

Sheldon: Ye -- why? (turning the page) Eh, why?! (turning the page) Oh, that's why.
Amy: Sounds like the night we had coitus.

Amy: You hate Scotch tape, but you love Scotch plaid. You are a mystery.

Amy: I mean, the mood's a little different now. We don't have to rush.
Sheldon: Oh, I know, but Leonard and Penny think we're doing it, and I don't want to disappoint them.
Amy: And the mood continues to change.

[In Mary Cooper's living room]
Sheldon: And I don't understand why you're taking her side. By being my girlfriend, she's saying you're a weirdo, too.
Amy: I don't think that's what she's saying.
[Cut to Sheldon and Amy in the apartment kitchen, telling Leonard and Penny the story of their trip]
Sheldon: And?
Amy: That's exactly what she was saying.

Amy: This was a potential issue, so I got out ahead of it and I managed the situation for you.
Sheldon: You "managed the situation"?
Amy: That's right.
Sheldon: So my mother thought I was incapable of finding a mate, and my mate thinks I'm incapable of running my own life.
Amy: Not your whole life! I mean, science. You got that. Organizing your sock drawer, you're the king.

Bernadette: It's okay, Howie never has on pants. The Domino's guy brings the pizza like this now. (covering her eyes)
Amy: Well, Sheldon always has his pants on. I don't think I could pick his knees out of a lineup.