Leonard: I have 26 hundred comic books in there, I challenge you to find a single reference to Kryptonian skin cells.
Sheldon: Challenge accepted. (Tries to open the apartment door.) We're locked out.
Raj: Also, the pretty girl left.

Raj: Fate has given me a rare second chance and I swear to Vishnu that I'm not going to blow it. ... Or normal words followed by a charming smile.

Stuart: Actually, I own my own store. Uh, if you'd like to check it out sometime, I'm running a new promotion: buy anything, get taken out for a reasonably priced dinner.
Raj: Yeah, yeah, Stuart's struggling financially. But he doesn't let that get him down. He believes in himself. Even though the whole world has made it clear he should not.

Ruchi: So, what do you guys do?
Raj: Well, I am an astrophysicist, so if you ever go out at night and look up at the stars, that's kind of my office. He sells comic books to children.

Raj: I don't call anyone a whore, and the only time I use the phrase "my bitch", I'm referring to you (Howard).

Raj: You guys ever notice that Emily has a bit of a twisted side?
Bernadette: You mean 'cause she has weird tattoos?
Raj: No, because she wants to have sex with me in a graveyard.

Raj: I think the next time I have to speak to a call center in India, I'm going to try use an American accent.
Howard: Why?
Raj: Because when I use my regular voice, I feel like I'm making fun of them.

Raj: With women! I like to boogie with women!

Raj: Do we know if there's life in the methane plumes of Enceladus or under the icy surface of Europa? Come back on Tuesday for my next show to find out. Spoiler alert: we don't.

Raj: Well, maybe there's a way to appear nonaggressive, but also be able to protect ourselves if necessary. Like smiling and waving with one hand, but the other hand holding the severed head of a tiger.
Howard: You want to send a passive-aggressive message out into the universe? That's ridiculous.
Raj: Oh, you mean passive-aggressive like posting pictures of you and your wife eating cosmopolitan balls that you know belong in my mouth?

Raj: So you have tattoos?
Emily: Yeah.
Raj: I don't. I have a hole in my belly button that may or may not have been a piercing.
Emily: That's cool.
Raj: It's a piercing.

Bernadette: Come on, get in her head. Be intimidating.
Raj: Okay. I'm gonna own you bitch!
Penny: Whoa!
Bernadette: Hey!
Raj: Let's just play.

Leonard: How do you want to start?
Raj: I don't know. How do you want to start?
Leonard: I don't know. Should we call Sheldon and Howard?
Raj: No, we can do this by ourselves.
Leonard: Great. How do you want to start?
Raj: I don't know. How do you want to start?

Raj: Wail till I Snapchat that my friends might be working on a top secret government project.
Leonard: Are you crazy? You can't put that on Snapchat.
Raj: Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman.

Raj: Hey! Look what I got everybody.
Leonard: Newspapers? Did you find a portal back to the 1990s?
Penny: No. If he had that, he'd be trying to prevent NSYNC from breaking up.
Raj: Oh, please. I'm glad they broke up. Otherwise, Justin would never have brought sexy back.