Leonard: Did you hear about this study that found people that were cool and popular at 13 have problems succeeding later in life?
Raj: Hmm. I'm doing okay, and I was very popular at 13.
Penny: In school?
Raj: Oh, no. At home. The servants would sing to me, laugh at my jokes. I wish I knew their names.

Raj: Uh, no no, uh, definitely not.
Howard: What was wrong with that guy?
Raj: Uh, he's Indian. We've already got one of those.
Ooh, we should find a nice Latino. Really round us out.

Raj: But what do you think?
Emily: I think it's very cute.
Raj: Cute? It's not cute. Cute is children dressed as vegetables.

Raj: Hey, what are you working on?
Bernadette: Oh, my God, you're still here?
Raj: Well, of course I'm here. I know what you're going through.
Bernadette: Really? You have a needy Indian man in your house?
Raj: I did, but then he came over here.

Raj: What makes them think they're always in charge of everything?
Leonard: They're alpha males.
Raj: What does that make us?
Leonard: We could be betas. They're second in charge.
Raj: Okay, that sounds good.
Leonard: Or we could be omegas. They get pushed around by the alphas and the betas.
Raj: Okay, that sounds like us.

Raj: I have an idea.
Sheldon: I think I have the same one.
Howard: We've got to watch Back to the Future II.
Raj: I'll make the pop corn.

Bernadette: Shall we tell everyone not to come?
Howard: No, I wanna do this.
Bernadette: Okay. I'll keep it together if you can.
Raj: I'm not making any promises.

Raj: Just remember, you're in charge. Don't let her pull you.
Bert: That seems like an unnecessary thing to say.

Sheldon: Speaking of something I find interesting, did anyone read that article about Bitcoin I sent you?
Howard: Yeah, I can't believe a single Bitcoin is worth about $5,000 now.
Leonard: Wait, didn't we mine some a few years ago?
Sheldon: It was seven years ago.
Howard: Oh, yeah, I remember that.
Raj: Really? All I can remember from seven years ago is I couldn't get Kesha's "Tik Tok" out of my head.
"Tik Tok, on the clock" Whoa, welcome home, Kesha.

Sheldon: Thanks for coming with me.
Raj: Thanks for inviting me when everyone else said no.

Raj: I want you to know, I did what you asked. I talked to Ruchi and found out what's going on at work.
Bernadette: So is she trying to steal my projects?
Raj: No, not trying to, sounds like it's a done deal. Here, have a brownie.
Bernadette: I'm gonna kill her.
Raj: Okay, don't take this out on Ruchi. Is she trying to take your job? Yes. Is she parking in your space? Yes.
Did she get a laugh at a meeting yesterday by calling you "Pregnadette"? Big one. But you would've done the exact same thing, and you know it.

Raj: Mining for coins sounds so manly. Ooh, we should sing a mining song.
Leonard: Do you know a mining song?
Raj: I don't know. Does "Tik Tok" by Kesha count? Because it has tunneled its way into my heart.

Leonard: Would you ever get a vasectomy?
Raj: Uh, in case you haven't noticed, Indians aren't too big on birth control. There's probably, like, a million more of us since we started this conversation.

Raj: Why does Emily like this stuff? Do you think there's something psychologically wrong with her?
Howard: What difference does it make?
Raj: What do you mean?
Howard: Come on, she could have a freezer full of ex-boyfriends' body parts and you'd still go out with her.
Raj: I do like that the ex-boyfriend's out of the picture.

Raj: They asked me what my biggest weakness was, and 45 minutes later, they thanked me for coming.