Sheldon: I will play the word "at" for two measly points, throwing the game and thus securing my friendship with the smartest man in the world.
Howard: What are you waiting for? Hit send.
Sheldon: I can't. Losing on purpose is intellectually dishonest.
Raj: So don't do it.
Sheldon: Oh, but I want to be Hawking's friend.
Howard: So do it.
Sheldon: Oh, but if I do, I'll be a phony, a sellout, a Hollywood poser.
Raj: Then don't do it.
Sheldon: I won't. This feels right. My mother always said, to thine own self be true.
Howard: Good for you.
Sheldon: 'course she also told me that every animal in the world got on one boat, so what does she know? And send.

Penny: What's yours?
Sheldon: I wake up. I enjoy some french toast with butter and syrup. Then a wormhole opens and whisks me millions of years into the future, where my towering intellect is used to save the last remnants of mankind from a predatory alien race.
Penny: Interesting you didn't mention Amy.
Sheldon: Who do you think made the french toast and syrup?

Amy: Sheldon, you've never cared what people thought, even when you really, really should. That dinner with my parents comes to mind.
Sheldon: If I'm not gonna use "your momma" jokes when I meet your mother, why'd I bother to learn them?

Amy: I know we only have coitus on my birthday, but I don't know if I can wait until midnight.
Sheldon: Oh, well, you'll be glad you did. Everyone knows the best foreplay is rigid adherence to a strict schedule.

Amy: Penny gets 20 points for the sewing kit.
Sheldon: Yeah, minus five, because this is mine.

Leonard: I've dated plenty of women. There was Joyce Kim, Leslie Winkle.
Sheldon: Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary. The word plenty has been redefined to mean two.

Sheldon: I don't think that will be necessary for Mr. James Earl Jones. You heard me. The voice of Darth Vader, The Lion King's dad and, FYI, the guy who says "This is CNN" - who also sounds like Darth Vader.

Leonard: You having a good day?
Penny: No, I missed an audition because my computer broke, and I didn't get the e-mail. Would've been a perfect part for me.
Sheldon: Was it waitress who ignores her customers? Because that's the role you were born to play.
Penny: Shut up and eat your burger.
Sheldon: Actually, it's a turkey club.
Penny: Didn't you order a burger?
Sheldon: I did, and yet here we are.

Amy: You know, this might work out for the best. You're always complaining about what a terrible roommate Leonard is. Like how he turns up the thermostat when you're not there.
Sheldon: Euck, it's like walking into the Amazon. And not the good Amazon with one-day shipping, the awful one with birds and snakes.

Sheldon: And worse than that, Edison filmed the first on-screen kiss, so he's basically a pornographer. Although every time I put that in Wikipedia, someone takes it out.

Sheldon: Oh really, Leonard? Are you going to have another one of your hissy fits?
Leonard: Hissy fits? I have hissy fits?
Sheldon: Yes, and I have a theory why. Because of your lactose intolerance, you switched over to soy milk. Soy contains estrogen-mimicking compounds. I think your morning Cocoa Puffs are turning you into a hysterical woman.

Sheldon: No, thank you. But for the record, I'm an excellent dancer. Proficient in the rumba, waltz and cha-cha.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: I don't see why that's surprising. I excel at so many things. You've had my sourdough bread.

Penny: He means he's writing a book.
Leonard: I do. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. Yeah. It's about a brilliant physicist who solves crimes using science.
Sheldon: Oh, Leonard-
Leonard: It's not about you.
Sheldon: He probably has to say that for legal reasons.

Leonard: Okay, if I may drill down to the bedrock of my question, why did you throw it out?
Sheldon: Because I have no interest in standing in the Rose Room of the Pasadena Marriott in front of a group of judgmental strangers, who wouldn't recognize true genius if it were standing in front of them giving a speech. Which, if I were there, it would be.

Sheldon: Given our new found intimacy, I'd say we have some hard choices to make.
Penny: Like what?
Sheldon: Gary Con. Do we fly or drive? Do we wear costumes? And if so, who gets to be Gary?