Sheldon: How much will it hurt?
Amy: It's just a tiny skin sample. You saw me do it to myself.
Sheldon: On a scale of one to ten, where one is a pebble in your shoe and ten is the monkey you thought was your pet biting your face off.
Amy: A two.
Sheldon: Eating a whole Altoid?

Penny: Do boys have flowers?
Leonard: Who knows what he has down there.

Howard: Stuart, stop driving like an old man. Speed it up a little.
Stuart: I'm not an old man! I just can't see at night.

Amy: Comfy?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm just happy I don't know what this memory foam remembers.

Sheldon: At our age, why don't we call it man's night?
Leonard: Because we just spent our allowance on comic books.

Stuart: And if my heart stops, just let me go.

Amy: What are you looking at?
Sheldon: Comments from our Behind the Flags retrospective. Get this, people are calling it "the longest one yet".

Amy: I made your favorite oatmeal - plain.

Amy: Aww, I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement.
Sheldon: You seem to be forgetting the "no nostalgia" clause.

Penny: Oh, it's Bernadette. She says they're running late. "The baby threw up on Howard, and then Howard threw up on Howard."
Leonard: Well, he didn't throw up on the baby. That's a win.

Raj: Maybe moving in was a bad idea. I haven't been here one day, I'm already causing problems.
Penny: You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon.
Leonard: "You didn't do anything.It's Sheldon." That'd make a nice needlepoint pillow.

Penny: Oh, that's a nice offer.
Zack: You know, we'd make a great team. Or as we say in the menu business, I can't do this without Me N U.
Penny: Right, 'cause it spells "menu."
Zack: Yeah, right? It's funny. I got a lot of menu jokes, but that's my favorite.

Bernadette: Not every girl dreams about being a mom. Sometimes you think you're never gonna have kids and one day you wake up and you're pregnant. And it doesn't matter that your career's going great right now and that you and your husband never even got to go anywhere taped to a dog!

Penny: Does the baby have a name yet?
Howard: We have named her Halley.
Penny: Oh!
Leonard: Oh, like Halley's comet.
Howard: Exactly. Also like the comet, Bernadette said she's not gonna have sex with me for another 75 years.

Penny: Well, it's like that science thing. For every action, you have a gigantic and annoying reaction.
Leonard: Just when I thought you couldn't get any hotter.