Raj: Yeah, this military guy showed up at Howard's door. He was terrifying.
Sheldon: Oh no, what did he say?
Raj: He gave me his business card and asked me to please pass it along to Howard.
Sheldon: That doesn't sound terrifying.
Raj: Not to a white guy born here, no. To a brown guy whose name has a lot of syllables in it - terrifying.

Sheldon: We don't need Howard's cousin, no. We have me.
Leonard: You're not a lawyer, Sheldon, you're just a know-it-all.
Sheldon: I am not a know-it-all. I'm a person who knows lots of things and likes to correct other people when they're wrong.
Leonard: That's the definition of being a know-it-all.
Sheldon: Or in German, a Besserwisser.

Penny: Oh God, I feel so bad, I just lied to her.
Amy: Oh, but you did it so well. That's amazing! It's like watching a sculptor, but your clay was lies.

Penny: It's not that I want to go, I just think it'll make Leonard happy. And if I have to watch him squeeze into an Ewok costume, so be it.
Amy: Look at you, going to Comic-Con, talking about Ewoks. I really have become the cool one around here.

Leonard: Sheldon, I know what you did, now change the password back.
Sheldon: Well, powder me in sugar and call me a donut, if it isn't Leonard Hofstadter.

Lucy: Can I just say something? Going out with Raj was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Raj: Yes, I'll take you back.
Lucy: It's like I needed to go through that experience to know what exactly I don't want in a man.
Raj: That's hard to hear, but I'll still take you back.

Penny: She said not to come. It's gonna be a while.
Amy: (sighs) Well, first deliveries can be slow.
Sheldon: I am starting to rethink the Flash onesie I bought this kid.

Amy: Aww, I remember signing our first Relationship Agreement.
Sheldon: You seem to be forgetting the "no nostalgia" clause.

Colonel Williams: I'll cut to the chase. The Air Force believes there's an application for this technology, and we're interested in funding your research.
Howard: Well, thanks, but you should know we're a little concerned about this being used in weapons.
Colonel Williams: Oh, well, let me put your mind at ease. What we use it for is none of your business.

Penny: You can stay in Leonard's room, and we'll stay at my place.
Amy: You're sure that's not an inconvenience?
Penny: No, not at all.
Leonard: And we live with Sheldon, so the word "inconvenience" has really lost all meaning.

Amy: Sheldon, that's enough.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah, no, fine. Let's just agree that both creations are special in their own way and it is foolish to try and compare them. Although, we didn't need to have sex with Howard for ours, so we win.

Sheldon: It says here that up to 80% of new mothers experience baby blues. And that the best thing to do is reassure them that they're doing a good job. Bernadette, you are doing a good job.
Bernadette: Thank you, Sheldon, I'm feeling better now.
Sheldon: Thank you, Internet. I'm telling you, with the right YouTube video, I can give Howard a vasectomy.

Sheldon: Oh, you know. The Lone Star state. That should be its Yelp rating.

Sheldon: No matter where I am, this will always be my spot.

Bert: Okay, well, thanks for coming by. You're nice people.
Penny: Well, so are you. In fact, you know what? We will never take you for granite. Did you get that? Granite? A little geology joke.