Popular Quotes Page 3 of 392

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Junior Professor Solution

Sheldon: The correct animal for inter-species super soldier is the koala. You would wind up with an army so cute, it couldn't be attacked.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Sheldon: (3 knocks) Birthday girl! (3 knocks) Birthday girl! (3 knocks) Birthday girl!

Quote from Howard in the episode The Proton Displacement

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Quote from Penny in the episode The Earworm Reverberation

Penny: So you have a song stuck in your head. It happens to everybody.
Sheldon: Well, I'm not everybody. I have an eidetic memory. I should be able to remember what song this is, but I can't. Something's wrong with me.
Penny: I told you if we were patient, he'd figure it out for himself.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Earworm Reverberation

Penny: Well, she did soften your life, didn't she?
Sheldon: Yes! She's like the dryer sheets of my heart!

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Intimacy Acceleration

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Septum Deviation

Raj: I'm sorry I'm so late. I was on the phone with my mother.
Bernadette: How is she?
Raj: Pretty good. She bought the book "Eat, Pray, Love", and used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Prom Equivalency

Raj: Okay, here we go.
(To Leonard & Penny) Say cheese.
(To Sheldon & Amy) Say cheese.
(To Howard & Bernadette) Say cousin.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration

Howard: That would be great. I'd love for things between me and mom to get back to normal.
Bernadette: Well, normal's a strong word, but sure.

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Mommy Observation

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Bernadette: But we have jobs, we can't babysit her twenty-four hours a day.
Howard: What if we use our vacation time?
Bernadette: I wanted to go to Hawaii, not Hell.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Santa Simulation

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Separation Oscillation

Sheldon: Thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Relationship Diremption

Raj: We have to go over some ground rules about Emily.
Howard: Like when it turns out she's made of rubber, I don't say anything?
Raj: She's very real.
Howard: That's what it says on the box. Right next to dishwasher safe.

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