Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 3 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Bernadette: You're just trying to prove that you'd do a better job than me.
Howard: You're pretty sharp having just woken up.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Howard: Morning.
Bernadette: Hey, where you been?
Howard: Oh, nowhere special. Just the park, the farmer's market, then we hopped on the Gold Line to Chinatown because it's important for the kids to experience other cultures. What have you been doing?
Bernadette: It's 8:00 a.m. Sleeping.
Howard: Oh. So are the kids. I guess they take after you.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Howard: Here's my dilemma, I kind of want to stay home. But Bernadette is a way better parent than I am.
Raj: Wait, does Bernadette want to stay home?
Howard: I don't know. She's really invested in her career, and she's doing great. I think it should be me.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Howard: Honestly, it's gonna be hard when we both go back to work. I've been thinking maybe it would be better if one of us decided to stay home.
Raj: I don't know, I was raised by servants, and look at me.
Howard: I literally can't tell if you think that's good or bad.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Howard: Oh, I didn't even know I was capable of loving someone so much.
Bernadette: More than me?
Howard: Wha--
Bernadette: Uh, I'm just messing with you. I totally love them more than you.
Howard: I get that. I would take a bullet for them. But I would get seriously mutilated for you.
Bernadette: That's sweet. But you should know, if you got seriously mutilated, I might dump you.
Howard: You'd be crazy not to. Even unmutilated, I'm no prize.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Bernadette: I just love them so much.
Howard: Me, too. My heart feels like it's gonna explode. Of course, it's full of brisket, so it probably will.

Quote from the episode The Athenaeum Allocation

Howard: You know, fun fact, did you know baby boys can pee straight up?
Raj: Grown-up boys, too.
Leonard: Why would we high-five that?

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Leonard: Hey, what'd you name him?
Howard: Neil Michael. Neil for Armstrong, Gaiman, and Diamond. Michael because Bernie had to get six stitches.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Raj: Hey, everything okay?
Howard: Yeah! The baby was born about an hour ago.
Raj: (gasps) Dude, why didn't you call me?!
Howard: (chuckles) The only way I would see my son for the first time and immediately think "I need to call Raj" is if he came out brown.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Bernadette: You know what, maybe we're putting too much pressure on this. It doesn't matter what we name him. He's gonna be amazing.
Howard: You're right. This kid is part you and part me.
Bernadette: Yeah. He's gonna be smart and kind and funny.
Howard: If he cracks five-foot-six, it'll be a miracle.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: How you feeling?
Bernadette: Eh. But I am really excited to meet our son.
Howard: Me, too. I thought I'd be super freaked out. But I'm ready for this. Well, not the part where you're in labor and you squeeze my fingers till they turn blue.
Bernadette: I'm sorry. That must be really painful for you.
Howard: It is. I mean, last time, I- Okay, I see what you're doing.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Bernadette: You know what, maybe we should go.
Howard: Did you have another contraction?
Bernadette: No. I'm just worried that Sheldon's gonna say "mucus plug" again.
Sheldon: And I'm worried one's gonna hit me in the eye.
Howard: Yep, it's time.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Raj: What about Sherman? Like, Sherman Wolowitz.
Leonard: Yeah, that's a kid who's gonna take his mother to prom.
Amy: Hey, Howard, you did that, right?
Howard: I didn't take her. She chaperoned. (chuckles) We slow-danced once.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Penny: You know, I always thought Christian was a nice name.
Howard: I don't know. Sounds a little too uncircumcised.

Quote from the episode The Neonatal Nomenclature

Howard: Are there any engineers on the grant committee?
Amy: I don't know. Why?
Howard: I didn't have time to figure out the three-input hydraulic manifold, so this diagram is really just a flux capacitor from Back to the Future.

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