Amy: He meant a lot to Sheldon.
Leonard: Oh, me, too. I grew up watching his show. He's one of the reasons I became a scientist.
Penny: Aw, thought you did it just to get girls.
Leonard: Joke's on you. It worked.

Leonard: So you just shut the door in his face? I got to start writing this stuff down.

Howard: I guess it was pretty smart using our quantum technology as the basis for a communication system.
Leonard: Be even better if he swapped out the helium for xenon.
Howard: Ooh. So instead of having to keep it at negative 271 degrees, you'd only have to keep it at negative 108. It would be way more efficient.
Leonard: And xenon has a bigger nucleus, so coherence would make it an easier signal to see.
Howard: You're brilliant!
Leonard: We should tell Sheldon.
Howard: You're an idiot! We don't tell Sheldon. We go to the military behind his back and we screw him like he screwed us.
Leonard: All right, you're right, you're right, we don't need him. We can do this all on our own.
Howard: Do you think you can do the math?
Leonard: No. But if someone else does it, I can double check the crap out of it.

Sheldon: Before we begin, this may have some unprecedented tax implications. In fact, we should start early 'cause we are gonna be on the phone with the IRS for hours. (gasps) Did anybody else just get goose bumps?
Leonard: Great, so just the three of us.

Leonard: Aw, you love me so much.
Penny: I married you, jackass.
Leonard: I I know, and not just out of pity like everyone said in their wedding toast.

Leonard: One of us should go sit with Raj so he's not alone.
Sheldon: But I'm not done telling you about my wedding revenge plans.
Leonard: You're right. Go on.
Sheldon: Okay, well, first, I'm going to try to get Amy to trade with me for hors d'oeuvres - (Leonard gets up and moves to Raj's table)

Penny: Hey. You look good today.
Leonard: What happened? What's wrong? Just tell me. I can take it.
Penny: Nothing. I felt bad about being mean to you, so I'm being nice.
Leonard: Oh, okay. Sorry. I wasn't ready for it. Try again.
Penny: You look handsome.
Leonard: Nope, still freaking me out.

Leonard: What you reading?
Penny: Oh, it's your brother's Christmas letter.
Leonard: Ugh. If there's a picture of his wife and his kids and his dogs and his horses all in matching pajamas, I beg you to burn it.

Leonard: Yeah, you-you just have to be patient.
Sheldon: But what if while I'm being patient, someone more relentless than me badgers their university into giving them money?
Howard: If there's someone more relentless than you, I'd like to meet them.
Leonard: I would not.

Sheldon: Oh, maybe it's fine if she doesn't come to the wedding. I've got Amy now, and she can do everything a mom can do and more.
Leonard: Say that to her on the wedding night. Really spice things up.

Georgie: Leonard, you want a beer?
Leonard: Yeah, I would love a beer.
Georgie: There you go.
Leonard: Thanks. Can you open it for me?
Georgie: No, it's a twist-off.
Leonard: I know.

Amy: Yeah, we're gonna need more coffee.
Penny: Yep, I'm with you. Leonard, coffee?
Leonard: Black and strong, like Luke Cage.
Penny: I'm too tired to even be disturbed by that.

Leonard: Yeah, that would be a little more like getting into dracula's coffin.

Leonard: That's it, no more Thai food.

Sheldon: Well, Leonard, I think it's high time we address the tweepadoc in the room.
Leonard: The what?