Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, what's going on?! Are you boys roughhousing?!
Howard: No, we're not roughhousing! We're scientists! Scientists don't roughhouse!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Excuse me, Mr. Grown-up!

Mary Cooper: Lord, thank You. Even though You can do anything, that was mighty impressive.

Stuart: What are you talking about? There's nothing weird going on between me and your mother.
Mrs. Wolowitz (o.s.): Stewie, your bath is getting cold!

Sheldon: I would throw a quick slant to a wide out, given that the defense is showing blitz.
Howard: Oh, I love a good blitz especially with sour cream.
Howard: Get it? Because it sounds like blintz.
Mrs. Wolowitz Did someone say blintz?

Raj: I've had a lovely time eating your brisket and hearing about the things you've had removed from your body over the years. Didn't know you could have a cyst inside another cyst.
Mrs. Wolowitz: The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls.

Mrs. Wolowitz Oh please. You're a tall glass of brown water. Have dessert.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, help, my hand's stuck in the garbage disposal.
Howard: Let go of whatever piece of food you're holding.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Are you kidding? It's a perfectly good chicken leg.

Man's Voice: You want me to hide in the closet or go out the back?
Mrs. Wolowitz: Shh, you need to whisper.
Howard: Ma, who is in there?
Mrs. Wolowitz: Uh, nobody. The TV is on.
Man's Voice: I only got one sock. Where's my other sock?
Howard: Who is that?
Mrs. Wolowitz: I told you, it's the TV. Jay Leno lost a sock, it's hilarious.

Mrs. Wolowitz I'm not going near that fakakta thing. I'll catch a computer virus.
Howard: You can't catch a computer virus.
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, so now you're an astronaut and a doctor?

Mrs. Wolowitz: Wives don't take boys from their mothers.

Mrs. Wolowitz: You know what, I'll buy you All-Bran in case you get stopped up in outer space.

Mrs. Wolowitz: What kind of breakfast do you think they're going to give you in Russia?
Howard: They invented blintzes. I'll be fine.
Mrs. Wolowitz: They invented the lightbulb in New Jersey. It doesn't mean they hand them out to you when you go.

Mrs. Wolowitz It's this dress. When I put my front in, my back pops out. When I put my back in, my front pops out. It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub.
Sheldon: What do you want me to do?
Mrs. Wolowitz We're gonna have to work as a team. Get in here, grab a handful and start stuffing.

Mrs. Wolowitz You're right. Who am I kidding? You should have seen me when I was young, Sheldon. The fellas used to line up and bring me boxes of candy. Why did I eat it all? Will you hold me?

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard Joel Wolowitz, I've been worried sick for two days and I know you turned off your phone. You open this door right now because I've had it up to here! I have been to the morgue and the hospital, and I spent the last half hour walking up these fakakta stairs.