Raj: I know a lot of people have been having fun claiming that I said I found alien life. I want to make it clear that is not what I said. I did say that was one possible explanation. I don't think that's something to mock. Right? It would be arrogant for us to assume that we are alone in the universe. And as scientists, we need to remain open to the possibility that the truth may sound silly or far-fetched. Uh, the round Earth. Germs that cause diseases. Subatomic particles. All these at one time seemed fanciful.
So who's to say what science fiction of today will be the reality of tomorrow? Will there be colonies on Mars? Uh, matter transporters? Perhaps the Loch Ness Monster is real.
Who knows? I'm just saying that the only way science moves forward is to follow the evidence wherever it leads, even if it makes us sound crazy sometimes.

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Just to be clear, this isn't a date.
Raj: Yeah, I know.
Sarah Michelle Gellar: Then why are you holding my hand?

Raj: I know they're poison, but they look like big, yummy otter pops.

Raj: And, once again, my baloney likes girls.

Raj: Ooh! Girls' night, girls' night. Ooh, ooh!
Stuart: How does he not hear that?

Howard: What's wrong with your car?
Raj: I'm having my windows untinted.
Howard: Why?
Raj: I've got a hot girlfriend now. I want the haters to know.
Howard: What are you talking about? No one's paying attention to you.
Raj: Wow. How's that hater-ade taste, bro?

Sheldon: Why do you even want this here? Its size is completely disproportionate to its purpose.
Raj: Well, seeing as its purpose was to piss you off, I'd say it's spot on.

Raj: I can't believe you made out with Mandy Chow.
Leonard: Oh, trust me I wish it never happened.
Raj: And you knew about this the whole time?
Howard: I did.
Raj: And you didn't think to tell me?
Howard: Leonard asked me to keep it to myself.
Raj: Let's leave Leonard out of this for the moment. This is about you and me.

Leonard: Are we done?
Raj: Not yet. This is fun.
Ooh, I know. I'd let her free my willy.

Howard: I'm sorry, you find this funny?
Raj: No, I was just thinking about Jurassic World. Boy, that was terrible.

Raj: Hello, Ramona.
Ramona Nowitzki: Mm. Hello.
Raj: Why are you sitting by yourself? Oh, that's right, Sheldon's in New Jersey being engaged to Amy.
Ramona Nowitzki: I heard.
Raj: Now that Sheldon's out of the picture, I could give you one more chance to go out with me.
Ramona Nowitzki: Nope, I'm good.
Raj: You sure? I will not ask again.
Ramona Nowitzki: I sincerely hope not.
Raj: Very well. I'm going to leave before this gets awkward.

Raj: Sheldon's right. I would never ask a woman if she was pregnant, unless she tells me or I see a human being wiggling out of her.

Raj: Look, Ruchi and I are really hitting it off. Please let me just have this one!
Stuart: I'm not going anywhere. I'm like a fungus you can't get rid of.
Ruchi: Sorry. So what's going on?
Raj: Oh, you just missed Stuart's funny story about the fungus he can't get rid of.

Raj: Oh, hey, hey, what do you think?
Bernadette: Just because it's a boy, I don't think you need to put a picture of genitals on his shirt.
Raj: But that's a baseball bat with two little baseballs. Okay, and now I see it.

Ruchi: Are you sure you're okay with this?
Raj: Honestly, Ruchi, I don't have a lot of experience with casual relationships. I have some experience with serious relationships and a ton of experience with no relationships.