Penny: It's just, Leonard and I have been married for two years, and we're no further along than when we were dating.
Amy: Come on. You've got so much to feel good about. You've got a great job now.
Penny: Yeah, I guess I am making decent money.
Amy: You make more than I do.
Bernadette: You may not have a house yet, but your apartment's great.
Amy: It's bigger than mine.
Bernadette: And Leonard loves you so much, he married you twice.
Amy: I'm not even engaged once. I don't even know if Sheldon thinks about marriage. I'm not getting any younger. Honestly, I kind of thought by now, we might have had some sort of-
Bernadette: Careful. The sound of crying can make me lactate.
Amy: I'm sorry. I can't help it. (crying)
Penny: Oh, that's gonna make me cry. (crying)
Bernadette: And there they go.
Penny: Ew.

Penny: Sorry, guys. This club was so great. How could they turn it into a bookstore? I thought we got rid of all those.

Leonard: I got it.
Howard: You really figured it out?
Leonard: No, but when we show this nonsense to Sheldon, it will make him crazy, and he'll have to fix it.
Howard: Oh, you're a genius.
Leonard: Yeah, I know. That's not even a math symbol. That's just Charlie Brown's hair.

Penny: Is everything okay?
Bernadette: Yeah. I may have just left my infant daughter with Patrick and SpongeBob.

Raj: Little parenting tip: sleeping babies hate flash photography.

Raj: Nothing to worry about. She's just been crying for a little while, and I was wondering if you had any tricks to get her to sleep.
Stuart: She was sleeping just fine till you took a selfie with her!
Raj: She was blowing a spit bubble. It was adorable!

Leonard: Okay. This is everything he had on the board. I'm sure we can figure the rest out.
Howard: All right. (clears throat) Hmm. Feel free to jump in. "Hmm" is all I got.

Stuart: So we just throw this away?
Raj: What else are you gonna do with it? Put it in your coffee?
Stuart: Well, I don't take it black.

Amy: Did you hear anything back from the Caltech preschool?
Bernadette: Not yet, but we're gonna apply to a bunch of others just to keep our options open.
Penny: Okay, stop that! No more preschool talk. Tonight is about having fun.
Amy: Nothing says fun like being scolded.

Leonard: Sheldon, you can still go on the trip in a few weeks. Just help us out.
Sheldon: Sorry. I need to work on this engine so when I get to the train yard I won't look foolish.
Howard: (laughs) He's worried about looking foolish. That's a heapin' helping of irony right there.

Leonard: We can get this. Is there any chance it's upside-down?
Howard: Maybe we can find another theoretical physicist to help us.
Leonard: It's classified. If we tell anyone, we'd get in trouble.
Howard: Hey, I came up with that and "hmm." You haven't pitched anything.

Leonard: (electrical crackling) What is that?
Howard: I don't know, but if he yells, "It's alive," we run.

Howard: I can't believe we have to ask Sheldon to come back and help us.
Leonard: Oh, boo-hoo. I spent four grand on a gift that only got rid of him for an afternoon.

Leonard: Okay, look, Sheldon, the Colonel wants us to make the guidance system smaller, and we can't do it without you.
Sheldon: Interesting. So I was right.
Howard: Open a window. It's about to get smug in here.

Sheldon: Oh, hey. If you knocked, I couldn't hear you. I'm welding this locomotive engine. And if you didn't knock, how about some manners?