Leonard: Okay, look, Sheldon, the Colonel wants us to make the guidance system smaller, and we can't do it without you.
Sheldon: Interesting. So I was right.
Howard: Open a window. It's about to get smug in here.

Stuart: Okay, instead of arguing all night, let's just split up the baby chores.
Raj: Yeah, great. Um, I'll put food in her top half, you deal with whatever comes out the bottom.

Bernadette: Call if there's any problems.
Penny: No. She's busy. You call Howard.
Raj: Got it.
Bernadette: Call me. Don't call Howard.
Raj: I would never call Howard.

Raj: Like I said, you ladies have fun.
Bernadette: We will. Got my dancing shoes, got my breast pump. Let's party.
Penny: You know, if you pump at the bar, I promise we'll get free drinks.

Raj: Okay, you ladies have fun tonight.
Stuart: Don't worry about Halley. Uncle Stuart's on the job.
Raj: Under the careful supervision of her godfather.
Stuart: My apologies. I didn't mean to offend you, Don Corleone.

Leonard: This train thing worked out better than I thought. He's home studying the engineer's manual.
Howard: It's so peaceful without him here. Can I ask you how much that cost?
Leonard: $4,000. Worth every penny.

Leonard: Sir, uh, if I may, uh, we've put a lot of thought and effort into this current prototype. It's a really elegant solution, and most importantly, it works.
Colonel Williams: Yeah, I want this.
Howard: But that's just a theory. It's not even a complete thought.
Colonel Williams: You both make excellent points. And thank you for presenting it so articulately. Make this.

Colonel Williams: What's this?
Leonard: Oh, nothing. Just some math we don't need.
Colonel Williams: This is a different approach. Are you trying to get the guidance system even smaller?
Leonard: It's just a theory. Uh, it's not even worked out.
Colonel Williams: Oh. I want this.
Howard: But we've already met the agreed upon specs. Going smaller would require weeks' worth of new computations.
Colonel Williams: So get the kid with the two shirts to do it.

Howard: The kid with the two shirts screwed us again.

Sheldon: You'll never believe it. Leonard gave me the most incredible gift, a trip to a historic railway, and I get to operate an actual locomotive.
Amy: Wow. He finally used it. What'd you do?
Sheldon: No idea. All I know is, I'm going to be working on the railroad all the live long day.

Sheldon: On the first day, I get to drive a steam engine. Oh, and the second day, a diesel engine. Oh, and if I volunteer to do track maintenance and paperwork, they'll let me stay as long as I want. So you might want to pack enough clothes for the rest of our lives.
Amy: Can I pee now?

Sheldon: And guess where we get to sleep? Our choice of a turn-of-the-century railway bunkhouse or a working caboose. Now, the problem with a caboose is there's no bathroom, but the problem with the bunkhouse is it's not a caboose.

Amy: Well, I'm really happy for you.
Sheldon: Oh, no. It's not just me. No, the railway is four hours from the nearest airport, and guess who gets to drive me.
Amy: I give up.
Sheldon: You!
Amy: No. I really give up.

Bernadette: For Howie's occupation, should I include that he was an astronaut?
Amy: Well, he mentioned it in his mother's eulogy, so why not?

Penny: Seriously, let's plan a night, you know, give you a break. We could go dancing.
Bernadette: That sounds really nice.
Amy: Oh. All this week, the Early Music Society of Pasadena is doing a joint concert with the San Gabriel Renaissance Choir.
Penny: Okay, that's the one to beat.
Amy: Good luck. People have been saying that for 600 years.