Bernadette: Howie, it's in poor taste.
Howard: No, it's not. Check it out. He says fun stuff.
Remote Control Stephen Hawking: Hey good lookin', want to go for a spin? (Howard spins the toy around)
Howard: His eyes also light up in the dark.

Leonard: It's always fun watching him read someone else's work.
*Sheldon grimaces as he's reading Bert's paper*
Penny: It's like scrolling through the emojis on my phone.

Sheldon: Ye -- why? (turning the page) Eh, why?! (turning the page) Oh, that's why.
Amy: Sounds like the night we had coitus.

Sheldon: I hope you're happy making me read this. Bert's work is remarkable. And I'm more upset than ever. This is worse than when I had to admit that Cedric the Entertainer's actually entertaining.

Leonard: Ignore him, he's just cranky because Bert from the geology lab won a big grant.
Penny: Oh, I heard him interviewed on the radio! You know, when they told him he won, he didn't believe it, but then he did believe it. It was so funny.
Sheldon: Who listens to the radio any more?

Sheldon: Hey, it's not even called the "Genius Grant," it's the MacArthur Fellowship. Just like it's not Frankenstein, it's "Frankenstein's Monster." Which brings us back to that hulking simpleton over there. And if anyone's a genius, it's me for the way I brought that full circle.

Leonard: How much money did he win?
Raj: Over half a million dollars.
Leonard: Wow.
Howard: And he doesn't have to use it for research, he can do whatever he wants with it.
Sheldon: Oh, good, maybe he can build a nicer bridge to live under.

Howard: Here he comes.
Leonard: Right. Be polite.
Sheldon: I know how to behave.
Howard: Do you?

Raj: Hey, congratulations Bert!
Leonard: Yeah, good for you.
Howard: That's amazing.
Bert: Thanks. I was as surprised as anybody. When they called and told me I won, I didn't believe them.
And then they said, "No, you really won." And then I said, "Cool."
Sheldon: Someone call George R. R. Martin, this guy knows how to finish a story.
Bert: I've gotten pretty good at telling it. Well, see ya.
Sheldon: Some genius. I zinged him with sarcasm, he didn't even notice.
Leonard: I know, and it was the greatest sarcastic quip I've ever heard.
Sheldon: Well, aren't you a peach.

Sheldon: Amy, I didn't want it to come to this. But you have left me no choice but to employ the most passionate, seductive dance known to man. The flamenco.
*Sheldon dancing*
Amy: For God's sake, you're ridiculous.
*Amy leaves the apartment*
Sheldon: (To Leonard and Penny) You guys are aroused, right?

Amy: Sheldon, please stop trying to seduce me.
Sheldon: Who's trying to seduce you? After a long day I always turn on smooth jazz and spray deer musk on my inner thighs.
Amy: I thought it smelled like a petting zoo in here.
Sheldon: Anything you'd like to pet? Bu-, but not my hair. There's a lot of goop in it.

Raj: So, um, what surprised you the most when you first came to America?
Issabella: Well, I suppose how much people care about Oprah's favorite things.
Raj: I thought that, too. But then I got my first waffle maker and never questioned her again.

Raj: Issabella! Issabella, wait, wait, let me explain.
Issabella: If you are embarrassed by what I do, why did you pursue me?
Raj: I'm sorry. Honestly, I didn't think your job would bother me, but I guess it did. And I hate myself for that. But there's a lot of things about me that would totally embarrass you.
Issabella: I doubt that.
Raj: Well, prepare to be mortified. I let my dog eat food out of my mouth, not because she likes it but because I do. Also, I know they're pretty, but I'm scared of butterflies.

Raj: What do you say? Let me make it up to you.
Issabella: You're very persistent.
Raj: It's my one move.

Issabella: This Sunday night, you may take me to dinner at a nice restaurant.
Raj: Great. Where would you like to go?
Issabella: Your choice. It can be Pakistani food, if you like.
Raj: Excuse me, but I'm Indian.
Issabella: And now you know how it feels.