Penny: What about the girl behind the counter?
Sheldon: Well, she spends her whole day scooping. One arm's probably bigger than the other.
Penny: Is it possible you might not actually want to meet someone?
Sheldon: You are truly wise.
Penny: Thank you.
Sheldon: I'd say wise beyond your years, but you're getting up there.

Sheldon: Penny, I am going to tell you a story that I've never told anyone.
Penny: All right.
Sheldon: I was 13 years old, and on spring break from college.
Penny: Not relating. Go on.
Sheldon: I came home early because they ran out of math to teach me.
Penny: Oh, now I'm with ya.

Sheldon: I need to prepare her now to save her from pain down the road.
Penny: Down the road? Sheldon, she wanted to share a toothbrush holder with you, and now you're at an ice cream parlor trying to pick up women!
Sheldon: Well, anything can sound silly when you put it in that tone.

Sheldon: I suppose I should apologize to you, as well.
Penny: Okay.
Sheldon: That must have hurt watching me look for other women without ever even considering you. Please understand that I think of you as more of a nanny.
Penny: Just finish your ice cream so I can get you home to bed.

Amy: Maybe I should just give in to his stupid bathroom schedule.
Leonard: No, don't do that.
Amy: But you did.
Leonard: Exactly! Learn from my mistakes! No matter where I am at 7:18 A.M., there better be a toilet nearby.

Amy: It's just so much easier to give him what he wants.
Leonard: Oh, true, but think of how much you've accomplished. Who got him to stop Purelling his pocket change?
Amy: Me.
Leonard: And who got him to put things other than gloves in the glove compartment?
Amy: Me. It was mittens.
Leonard: Mm. And who got him to try a turkey dog?
Amy: That was actually Koothrappali, but I did let him spit it out in my hand.

Leonard: Look, how can you stop now? That's like walking out of Pinocchio right before he becomes a real boy.

Amy: I'm in this relationship, too. I need to stand up for myself.
Leonard: Of course you do.
Amy: And if he doesn't like it, he can move back here.
Leonard: Oh, he can try. He'd just need a good locksmith.

Penny: Well, who you gonna hit on? The girl in front of us got strawberry. That's your favorite.
Sheldon: No. No, if we both like it, I'll spend the rest of my life opening the freezer and going, "Aw, no strawberry."

Stuart: I don't want to be an inconvenience. You've got all your lady friends -
Raj: Actually, I'm single now.
Stuart: What?! When did that happen?
Raj: It's okay. It's by choice. Well, their choice, and it's not okay.

Bernadette: Why wouldn't he tell us? Are we bad friends?
Howard: He's in our hot tub drinking our wine.
Bernadette: Yeah, he deserves to be alone.

Stuart: So you're back out on the dating scene now?
Raj: Yeah, yeah, a little.
Stuart: Oh, that must be fun. How's that going?
Raj: I'm in a hot tub with you, so pretty bad.

Penny: You know, one night, Leonard's nose whistled so loud, I swear it was like sleeping on a train track.
Sheldon: Have you noticed it's always an A-flat?
Penny: Is it?
*Sheldon whistles*
Penny: Oh! It's like his sinuses are right here in the car.

Sheldon: If we're just going to drive around aimlessly, the least you could do is take me for ice cream.
Penny: Yeah, I'll take you for ice cream.
Sheldon: Well, see, why can't Amy be that subservient? She has coitus one time, suddenly she's Gloria Steinem.

Sheldon: Anyway, I suppose an ice cream parlor will be a good place to meet other women.
Penny: Oh, please, you're barely interested in a physical relationship with one person. Why would you want to confuse and disappoint others?