Colonel Williams: All you need to worry about is, right now, it's (wide gesture) this big, and we need it to be (small gesture) this big.
Leonard: That's a lot less big.
Colonel Williams: Yes, it's (wide gesture) this much less big.

Howard: I'm not even sure that's possible.
Colonel Williams: Well, I ran it by some colleagues at MIT, and they thought they could get it done in four months.
Howard: Four months?
Sheldon: Yeah, we'll do it in two! (laughs) Hi, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I'm the actual brains behind this project. Also, engineers aren't real scientists, MIT's a trade school, and the Death Star is from Star Wars, not Star Trek! But otherwise, thank you for your service.

Amy: Hi. Howard told me you were working late, so I brought dinner.
Bernadette: Oh, thanks. You know, I just wanted to get some work done without people congratulating me about the baby every five minutes.
Amy: I spent my day alone in the lab waiting for a rat to die of anthrax.
Bernadette: Did you come here to bring me dinner or to gloat?

Amy: I am really regretting that I got you a Happy Meal.

Bernadette: I've worked so hard to get where I am, and I don't want to get sent back to square one because I'm pregnant.
Amy: I understand how you feel.
Bernadette: Thank you.
Amy: I wish there were some way I could make it better.
Bernadette: Well, you brought me French fries. That's a start.
Amy: Uh, actually, I got you apple slices 'cause you're pregnant.

Penny: Hi.
Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: What are you doing?
Sheldon: Oh, Leonard's mad at me, so I'm making him lemon bars.
Penny: Does he even like lemon bars?
Sheldon: Not really. But I'm mad at him, too, so lemon bars it is.

Penny: Something happen at the meeting?
Sheldon: They made me promise I wouldn't talk.
Penny: And you talked?
Sheldon: Well, now, see? You knew what was gonna happen. Why didn't they?

Penny: Well, if it makes you feel any better, Bernadette's mad at me, too.
Sheldon: Mmm. If it makes you feel any better, a parasitoid wasp known as Oobius depressus has been rediscovered after 101 years of presumed extinction.
Penny: Why would that make me feel better?
Sheldon: Why would your Bernadette thing make me feel better? At least mine was educational.

Sheldon: Look, I'm sorry. Tell me why Bernadette is upset with you.
Penny: Well, I told people at work that she's pregnant. She wasn't ready for them to know.
Sheldon: Why would you do that?
Penny: Well, it just slipped out. I feel terrible.
Sheldon: See, that's exactly what happened to me, except that I said it on purpose, and I have no regrets.

Raj: Is it even possible to get this done in two months?
Howard: Well, maybe. I don't know. We'll have to work twelve hours a day, seven days a week.
Leonard: Which means I won't be able to make Penny breakfast every day, and she'll realize my brioche French toast was the only thing keeping her in the marriage.
Howard: I love your French toast.
Leonard: Oh, thanks, man.

Raj: So, why did you guys even agree to the deadline?
Howard: We didn't. Sheldon did.
Raj: And you just let him?
Leonard: Well, the colonel said it was for the good of the country, and the funding is substantial.
Howard: No, but mostly, there was an awkward pause, and I broke it by saying, "Okay."

Raj: Wow. You're going off to work with the military, leaving me behind. Now I know how all those army wives feel.
Howard: Would you stop? We're just gonna be on the other side of campus.
Raj: And right here. (holding his hand on his chest)
Howard: You are a deeply silly man.
Raj: (To Leonard) He is so afraid of his feelings.

Bernadette: I just wanted to apologize. I know what you did was an accident.
Penny: Oh, thank you, and I'm sorry I lied about it.
Bernadette: For what it's worth, you're a great liar.
Penny: Oh, that's what Amy said.

Penny: You threatened to sue?
Bernadette: Hey, I learned a long time ago, when you're four feet eleven and eye level with every guy's crotch, that's where you punch.
Penny: That's funny. I learned something totally different.

Bernadette: Do you know what? It's just a research project. The most important job in the world is gonna be raising this child. It's all I need to give my life meaning.
Penny: Oh, that's so beautiful.
Bernadette: You believe me? Oh, good. Eleven more chumps like you, I'll have the jury eating out of my hand.